…like no business I know. The adult business is unlike any other industry in the world, and I’m not only talking about the sex aspect. I know your parents probably told you that if you put your mind to it, you could be anything you want — an astronaut, baseball player, pop star, ballerina, fireman, President. Sure, some kids do grow up to be those things, so dreams do come true.

In the adult industry, people get to be anything they want. Nail technicians get to be production managers, shoe salesmen become directors, high school dropouts transform overnight into writers or publicists and just about anyone can be a director or even run an entire company.

Coming from a background of mainstream entertainment and journalism, I’m not professing to be the most educated in the world or the most knowledgeable about either adult or the business world. But what I have noticed is that this industry is unlike any other.

I applaud the entrepreneurial spirit that exists in adult. It’s great to create a goal and achieve it. It’s what this country was built upon. What I don’t like are the liars and scam artists in the world. I don’t like lazy people, either. In short, there are tons of people working in adult giving the hard workers and professionals a bad name. I’m going to leave names out, but some of those in the know will definitely get my drift on who I am talking about.

In the talent agent world, there are those who are licensed and professional. Agents and agencies such as Derek Hay and L.A. Direct, Spielger’s Girls and Gold Star are reputable agencies that have professional and responsible talent under their umbrellas. The girls show up, do what they’ve agreed to do, and so on and so forth. I can’t even being to tell you how many press releases I have received over the past few years that Shirley Suckalot is launching her own agency or some fuckwad down in Bumfuck, Florida is. I’ve heard horror stories from girls falling in with the wrong so-called agents, and while some of them merely just never get a real chance to launch a career, some tales are tragic.

Which brings me to my next point of contention, and that is the whole publicist game in adult. I see postings or rumblings everywhere that some person who claimed to be this major mainstream actor or god knows what is now a publicist, and they’re going to turn you into a superstar!

While there are a handful or so of professional and courteous publicists in porn, there are far more scam artists who think that merely sending out an email to a bunch of websites and message boards doth a publicist or publicity campaign make. News flash boys and girls — it does not. Back in my life as an editor before working here, I dealt with tons of publicists in mainstream entertainment. Sure, there was a fair share of assclowns on that side of the fence as well, but statistically speaking, far less. The publicist would send out their press release as merely a support tool. They would actually call you or personally contact you by some means to talk about the artist or product or release. They would give you a unique spin or pitch on it suited for your publication. They would send you the product. They would follow it up with you. In short, they would attempt to build a relationship with you and actually (gasp) work to get you to write or feature their client. Groundbreaking I know.

Then we have our peripheral people in the biz who can basically be anything they want to. I sometimes think that the industry rewards mediocrity and incompetence. You have people making six figure salaries as executives who have been fired from multiple companies. You have borderline stalkers running events. There are “actors” who aren’t even listed on the IMDB giving acting clinics for $50 bucks. I have a submarine for sale. It has screen windows, but it’s only $50. Want it?

Then you have so called “writers.” These “writers” think that a colon is only a part of the body that makes you go doodie, and that a participle is another term for rain or snow. Some post under pseudonyms on their “blog” sites, stating they are completely and thoroughly knowledgeable about their subject matter. That they’ve worked in the adult industry for a whole three years. They claim to have contacted the people or companies of which they write about for retorts, but do not. They only state partial facts, or don’t research in the least. Who the fuck are these people? Where did they come from?

We’re merely here to post some news from the world of adult and beyond, support adult companies and stars by posting their updates, give you our two cents every so often and bring you some more goofy shit from time to time. There are plenty of stories and gossip that doesn’t get posted, because they’re just stories. Or just gossip. And sometimes stuff doesn’t get posted because it’s just plain mean or personal and does not to be broadcasted. Our poor Alexa ranking will suffer due to our moral fiber, but we’ll still be <sniff> loved, and more importantly, trusted.

I could go on and on about a lot of people I have encountered in this business who I personally think would be more qualified manning the cash register during the graveyard shift at a convenience store, but time is short and some of us who do know what the fuck we are doing actually have to work to make a living. All I can say is if you’re in the adult industry or looking to become such and need to hire someone or sign with someone, caveat emptor. That’s Latin for “let the buyer beware,” or in layman’s terms, wake the fuck up!

* names and certain small details have been changed to protect the guilty

HELP WANTED

NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

(5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5)

 Loading ...