This Friday the remake of Friday the 13th hits the screens at theaters everywhere. If you have been reading this column (and you should be!) you’ll know that I’m a great big huge horror fan. Yeah, I collect horror DVDs and shoes — lots and lots of shoes. So, anyway, in anticipation of the upcoming new Jason, I wanna take a look at the overall series (I’ll spare showing you my shoes… for now). Allow me to present to you The Armani Watch’s Friday The 13th Top Six…

Friday the 13th

This is the one that started it all. A legend is going around Camp Crystal Lake that several years ago a child drowned due to the negligence of the camp counselors who were too busy boning. The legend continues that the counselors were massacred by the boy who returned from the dead BUT is it a legend??? The current Camp Counselors think so, until they start getting chopped up.  Watch out for the twist ending that will knock your socks (or panties) off!

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Jason finally gets his, but good in this 4th installment. He’s racked up several numbers on his killing spree and has been unstoppable, until now.  In the movie’s climax the form of a shaved headed 12-year-old Corey Feldman (you have to see the movie to get it) fucks with Jason’s Head (and mine) long enough for him to be taken down. It was supposed to be the end of our hockey mask wearing bad boy, but not even a hatchet to the head can stop him LOL.

Freddy vs. Jason

Okay, I’m not gonna lie. Just the thought of these two bad boys in the same room gets me all tingly in the panties. It’s a clash of the titans when these two horror icons come to blows (and chops). Freddy gets off of Elm Street and a blood bath ensues when he wakes a sleeping Jason. It’s definitely a fun ride and a keeper for the DVD collection.  I’m still waiting for a round two!

Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

After the misstep that was called Part Five, this sixth installment gets us back to the real Mr. Voorhees and Camp Crystal Lake. Jason has been dead and buried after the events of the fourth movie, but he’s resurrected by a bolt of lightning. Oh, if only it were that easy. Now, if you thought killing this guy was tough before, this “zombie” Jason is damn near impossible.

Friday the 13th: The New Blood

Before Freddy stepped in to fight him, Jason had never met his match until this 7th installment when Mr. Voorhees goes up against a chick with telekinesis powers.  I heard a rumor that the character, Tina, was originally supposed to be Carrie (from the movie of the same name). Now how bad ass would that have been? Our hockey-masked hatchet murderer vs. the pig blood covered prom queen. *Le’ sigh* but that’s me just dreamin’.

Friday the 13th Part 2

Jason was only seen briefly at the end of the first movie, this time around the movie is all him and boy, is he pissed.  At the climax of the first movie Jason’s momma gets beheaded (ouch) and now he is out for…blood. (HA!) Though he doesn’t wear his trademark mask (he doesn’t get that until Part 3) F13 Pt.2 is filled with thrills and scares

Okay, there ya go for this week’s look at some super cool movies. Next week I’ll bring back a review for the new Friday the 13th!

Armani Watch Rating: 13A’s… ‘cause I can!

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