I love the NightMoves Awards Weekend in Tampa. Paul and Tracy Allen are great people, and it’s the perfect place and atmosphere to strengthen business relationships, or to meet new stars to shoot and/or interview for the mag. One of my favorite things is that there’s always something that ends up being the stuff of which perpetual ridicule is made of.

Here are what I think were the top five funny moments from this year’s Tampa Show…

Tommy Gunn Ends Up in Orlando
I briefly touched upon this in my opening blog from the show, but it’s so funny I can’t resist talking about it further. Let me preface this with to know Tommy is to love Tommy. His version of the story is that he had connecting flights, but the flight attendant told him he didn’t have to change planes in Albuquerque. So instead of switching and going to Tampa, he ended up landing in Orlando. Luckily it’s only about an hour from Tampa and he wasn’t in some godforsaken place like Boston, so Tommy just rented a car and drove to Tampa. What we all wondered is how did he not realize he was in Orlando or headed to the wrong place until about 30 minutes after he was wandering around the airport there looking for his ride.

Tommy Gunn Honorable Mention: Accepting the First Choice Award for Pirates II in his Victor Stagnetti pirate voice. Arghhh.

“Shoeless” Ron Jeremy
No, he wasn’t a member of Chicago Black Sox, even though he might be old enough. Each night after everyone returns from the club appearances there’s usually some sort of late night gathering at the hotel’s pool, which they close off, to the general public. Every year there is bound to be a Hedgehog sighting in the pool, even if no one else goes for a late night dip. During Ron’s wee morning swim this year someone allegedly made off with the legend’s legendary Crocs. This would be no big deal, except for what follows. If you know Ron, he’s always wearing the damn things, and they were the only source of footwear he brought to Tampa with him. His flight was also the next morning. Now Ron had to go to the airport sans Crocs. We can see the flight attendants now. “Look! It’s Ron Jeremy… And he’s shoeless.” Poor Ron.

Newsflash… This just in… Sunny Lane has Ron’s shoes. Poor Sunny.

Mr. Pete Does Not Know How to Use a Gun
During the weekend, Stormy Daniels shot some scenes for her newest Wicked movie, Whack Job. During a non-sex scene (shameless plug: which I was in and more on that later), the cast of “mobsters” were given realistic prop guns to draw at an intruder. During rehearsals, Mr. Pete couldn’t figure out how to cock it, was caught looking down the barrel of the gun. He also accidentally pushed the button to release the clip, which fell out. Hardcore performer he is. Hardcore gangsta he is not.

Lexi Lamour Steals the Penguin’s Hat
File this under irony of sorts. Tony Batman was emceeing the Awards Show. Tony Batman was wearing a top hat. Tony Batman, all 5’6” of him, looked like the Penguin instead of the Caped Crusader with said top hat. When Ethan Cage and Lexi Lamour went up to present, Lexi stole the hat, then gave it back to him announcing on stage, “Here’s your hat, Penguin.” Honorable Mention: Ethan’s “The plane! The plane!” exit.

Bree Olson Pole Dances and Shows Her Pussy
During the Awards Show, which was held at a country music club, the band was playing on stage. Bree Olson, who was backstage in the green room awaiting to present, asked Tracy Allen if she could go up and dance on stage. Tracy, thinking this could be harmless and a nice treat for the fans to see and they would love it, said yes. Good idea, right? Wrong! We’re talking about Bree. With Bree, anything is possible, including swinging on the stripper pole, that was front and center, in a PG rated club, wearing no panties. Tracy was right. The fans did love it. The club’s management? Not so much.