Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen… Asleep

WTF! I’d rather be running around my room banging on pots and pans for two and a half dreadful hours. It sure as hell is a better visual than what I just watched.. I must vent.

This movie is two and a half hours. It’s two and a half hours. It’s TWO and a HALF hours. I have no excitement to see this movie again. Okay, moving on…

Here are my Big NO NOs of this film, primarily because these are the issues corrupting today’s teens:

1.  Drug Content – Brownies laced with marijuana is a Big No for a film aimed for the young ‘uns eyes. For God sakes Bay, children and teens are watching this movie and absorbing every detail of their childhood fantasy. As a person who volunteered my quality time for Drug Abuse Resistance Education (www.DARE.com) towards our young ones, I’m 100 percent against any substance abuse, especially in films targeted for such a young audience.

2. Sexuality – The sexuality was off the chart for any teen movie. In fact, even two dogs were being sexually active in various parts of the movie. In one of the scenes a former Sector 7 agent pulls down his pants and shows his ass. Even the remote control truck robot starts humping the main actress’s (Megan Fox) leg. The part with the robot with hanging testicles was pretty funny although unnecessary.  If I wanted to see anything remotely sexual, I would watch You & Us, my newly released DVD from Digital Playground.

3.  Language – Once again it was totally unnecessary in this film. Most movies today have some type of language and vulgarity, but there was no need for Transformers to be cursing. Great job on adding a new vocabulary to kid minds as they’re playing with their Transformers in their bedrooms.

As far as the graphics are concerned, I felt as if I were watching a multi-colored junkyard clashing against each other, but hey its for the kids LOL. There’s too much swirling around and slow motion in this movie.  Just when I thought this movie was almost over; Bay abused slo-mo in the end. If there is one thing I’ve always despised in any film it would be that heroic moment of characters outrunning explosions…especially in slow motion. You can’t outrun explosions you dick.

How can I forget about the annoying cast of Julie White who played as Judy Witwicky. Did anybody else want to smack this woman upside her head? All she did was cry and get high off of her pot brownies. They tried to add some humor into it, but it just didn’t work. Thank goodness they didn’t say anything stupid when their son had to save the world at the end. That would have killed it…even more.

As far as Alice, they did a good job on creating a slutty deception. This isn’t Terminator, so you’re in the wrong movie, umkay pumpkin! And why did Sam’s college roommate stay for the entire movie? He bitched about everything.  He really needed to go. My advice is to save $20 and take your kids out for some ice cream and a picnic at the park. Bay – You are the devil.

Your Triple X Supermodel,
-Armani

Don’t forget to pick up my latest DVD for your veiwing enjoyment – You & Us! There’s a trailer at www.digitalplayground.com/mov/youandus.html

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani or Tweet me @XXXSupermodel.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.