Adam & Eve contract beauty Kayden Kross has had some past week or so. She gets detained at customs for hours getting into New Zealand. Then gets fondled and hit in the face during a parade there. Then, coming back into the good old U.S. of A., she gets arrested for “grand larceny.”

Kayden tells the story a helluva lot better, so head over to her site, ClubKayden.com and check out her blog. Here’s part of the story…

Customs. I’m not a fan any longer. They were still on my shit list from the NZ arrival where they held us for five hours (in a cold room with no food or water mind you). Did I mention the head of security came in for an autograph afterwards? I feel I should mention it.
Anyhow I waited in the customs line feeling pretty secure because it was my country after all and I hadn’t done anything that should warrant suspicion. Warrant is another word I am now sensitive to. I handed the officer my passport and he swiped it. He didn’t ask the usual stupid questions about what I did while I was gone and how long I was gone. Instead he asked what my social security number was and whether I was 5’5” with blue eyes and blond hair. “Yes,” I answered slowly. He looked at me again. Looked at the computer screen. Looked at me. “Have you ever been arrested?” he asked in disbelief.
Me: “No, why?”
Him: “It’s OK you can tell me, what were you arrested for?”
Me: “No really, I’ve never been arrested”
Him: “Never in Sacramento?”
Me: “Never. Why?”
Him: “because you have a warrant”
Me: “you’re kidding right?”
Him: “I’m afraid not.”
Me: “What’s it for?”
Him: “You should know.”
Me: “obviously I don’t so tell me.”
Him: “It doesn’t say here. What were you arrested for?”
Me: “I wasn’t arrested.”
Him: “well what do you think it’s for.”
Me: “I don’t know. This is the first I’ve heard of it.”
Him: “you were arrested though, right?”
He said it as if he were giving me a hint. He really wanted me to say I had been arrested. I didn’t care whether he believed I had been arrested or not. I just wanted to go.

Me: “yes?”
Him: “OK, now what were you arrested for?”
Me: “uh… missing jury duty?”
Him: “that’s not what it says here. Try again.”
Me (now screaming): “I don’t know I was never arrested!”
Him: “But you just said you were.”
I don’t know if I could possibly stress how long we went in this circle for. I could see my bag revolving on the carousel. I was waiting for him to laugh and say ha ha gotcha. He was not saying ha ha gotcha. He was talking into his stupid customs walkie talkie. I decided instantly that this was probably not good. That was immediately confirmed when another officer came over and asked for my company over to the carousel. Then she wanted my company on the other side of the building where they spent way too long deciding whether they also wanted my company in the little cold room with the stainless steel bench. They did. They patted me down. I was super smart about hiding my cell phone and the second they left me alone in my airport cell I whipped it out. No service. Damn.