The Armani Watch

Hey there all of you sexy guys and girls. In case you don’t know me, I’m Angelina Armani™ and I’d like to welcome you to “The Armani Watch.”

If there’s one thing I love almost as much as sex, it’s sitting down and watching a really good movie. I try to get to the theater on a pretty regular basis, and when I’m not shooting scorching hot sex scenes, I’m at home thinking about sex while watching a DVD. I can watch just about any type of movie — action, comedy, animated, romance, drama, horror. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s good, entertaining and a temporary escape from reality. But the reality is that not every movie out there is good. Just like sexual partners, sometimes you get a real lame one that loses your attention really quick. I know we’ve all had that problem in life, and wouldn’t it have been much better if someone, anyone, could have warned you in advance? Well that’s what I’m going to do here. I’m going to pass on my opinions about what to watch and what to avoid like a really bad lay! So sit down and check out “The Armani Watch”…

Week of July 16, 2009

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen … (Asleep)

Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen… Asleep

WTF! I’d rather be running around my room banging on pots and pans for two and a half dreadful hours. It sure as hell is a better visual than what I just watched.. I must vent.

This movie is two and a half hours. It’s two and a half hours. It’s TWO and a HALF hours. I have no excitement to see this movie again. Okay, moving on…

Here are my Big NO NOs of this film, primarily because these are the issues corrupting today’s teens:

1. Drug Content – Brownies laced with marijuana is a Big No for a film aimed for the young ‘uns eyes. For God sakes Bay, children and teens are watching this movie and absorbing every detail of their childhood fantasy. As a person who volunteered my quality time for Drug Abuse Resistance Education (www.DARE.com) towards our young ones, I’m 100 percent against any substance abuse, especially in films targeted for such a young audience.

2. Sexuality – The sexuality was off the chart for any teen movie. In fact, even two dogs were being sexually active in various parts of the movie. In one of the scenes a former Sector 7 agent pulls down his pants and shows his ass. Even the remote control truck robot starts humping the main actress’s (Megan Fox) leg. The part with the robot with hanging testicles was pretty funny although unnecessary. If I wanted to see anything remotely sexual, I would watch You & Us, my newly released DVD from Digital Playground.

3. Language – Once again it was totally unnecessary in this film. Most movies today have some type of language and vulgarity, but there was no need for Transformers to be cursing. Great job on adding a new vocabulary to kid minds as they’re playing with their Transformers in their bedrooms.

As far as the graphics are concerned, I felt as if I were watching a multi-colored junkyard clashing against each other, but hey its for the kids LOL. There’s too much swirling around and slow motion in this movie. Just when I thought this movie was almost over; Bay abused slo-mo in the end. If there is one thing I’ve always despised in any film it would be that heroic moment of characters outrunning explosions…especially in slow motion. You can’t outrun explosions you dick.

How can I forget about the annoying cast of Julie White who played as Judy Witwicky. Did anybody else want to smack this woman upside her head? All she did was cry and get high off of her pot brownies. They tried to add some humor into it, but it just didn’t work. Thank goodness they didn’t say anything stupid when their son had to save the world at the end. That would have killed it…even more.

As far as Alice, they did a good job on creating a slutty deception. This isn’t Terminator, so you’re in the wrong movie, umkay pumpkin! And why did Sam’s college roommate stay for the entire movie? He bitched about everything. He really needed to go. My advice is to save $20 and take your kids out for some ice cream and a picnic at the park. Bay – You are the devil.

Your Triple X Supermodel,
-Armani

Don’t forget to pick up my latest DVD for your veiwing enjoyment – You & Us! There’s a trailer at www.digitalplayground.com/mov/youandus.html

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani or Tweet me @XXXSupermodel.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

SUMMER MOVIE RUNDOWN

Well hello there! I know it’s been a hot minute since I have been on here to give you the 411 on what to see and what to avoid, BUT I’m back, and not just posting “The Armani Watch,” I have a new DVD out! Check out “You & Us” available now wherever fine porn is being sold on line.

Anyway, let’s kill a lot of birds with one great big huge stone. It’s been a big summer of movies, while there was no Dark Knight or Iron Man, we still have had a lot of good stuff so….May I present to you The Armani Watch Summer Blast! Let’s take a look at what made my panties tingle and what you should be glad you missed.

Wolverine: Origins

I liked it. A lot. I know it had a lot of comic fans up in arms, but then again, what doesn’t? Them boys have some angst. Either way, I had a lot of fun watching it. There was a lot of action, stuff blowing up and plot to keep me interested. I take it with a grain of salt that it is not exactly like the comic books, but I don’t think it has to follow exactly chapter and verse as long as it’s true to the spirit. Fair enough? Hugh Jackman returns to one of his most famous roles and kills it once again.

The Hangover

Holy Hell, I’m still laughing about that damn movie! It was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile. I needed a good laugh and found it in this simple little movie of a bunch of friends having their bachelor party in the city of sin, Las Vegas. The boys wake up after a night of debauchery not knowing what the hell happened to them, now that’s a party! Unfortunately they raised a whole lot of hell and now it’s coming back to bite them in the ass. I went to Vegas not too long ago and did my share of partyin’ but I remembered everything…almost. Argh. Anyway go see The Hangover.

Star Trek

OH HELL YEAH! Now let me start by saying I have no idea who these guys are but damn I had a great time watching this movie. I really got into it. And if I can, when I don’t know my Captain Kirk from my Captain Crunch, I think anyone will enjoy it. This is the first tale of how the crew of the Enterprise came together. There are some shady aliens blowing up planets in some kinda of revenge scheme. They mess with time travel and create havoc. It was a really exciting movie with a lot of action and stuff that I’m sure the fan boys would love. I had a blast and would watch this one again. Wanna watch it with me?

The Taking of Pelham 123

Oh Denzel. How could you do me wrong like this? Bad, bad, bad movie. Ugh. I was actually exciting about seeing this tale of a subway hijack, I even went to a special screening a week before it opened and I was devastated. It was just long, drawn out and nothing to really get into. Travolta yells for 90 minutes and I still have no idea what the reason for the hijack was. Seriously it made no sense. The only good thing about it was that it took place in New York. <-Shout out.

Terminator: Salvation

I liked it. (Even though Christian Bale was pretty much doing his “Batman” voice.) The story was cool, but where can you really go when you already know what is eventually going to happen. It was still a fun ride though, with a few left turns that knocked me for a loop, including the return of not just “a” terminator, but THE Terminator.

Okay, so out of these five, make sure you see Star Trek or The Hangover first, then maybe check out Wolverine or Terminator. But if someone asks you to go see Pelham, say “fuck no!” I should have. Don’t forget to pick up my latest DVD for your veiwing enjoyment – You & Us! There’s a trailer at www.digitalplayground.com/mov/youandus.html

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani or Tweet me @XXXSupermodel.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of April 23, 2009

A Nightmare on the Armani Watch

So, word got back to me that one of my favorite directors, Wes Craven, was going to do a live commentary on the 25th anniversary of classic horror film A Nightmare on Elm St. OK, my panties are drenched. Of course I went down to the Aero theater in Santa Monica where the screening was taking place. I was running late because I was on set for an HBO project (but we’ll save that story for another time). And thankfully I made it to the sold-out special event with moments to spare.

Now, I’m sure you are all very aware of Freddy Kruger and A Nightmare on Elm St., I mean, how could you not? Freddy is an iconic pop culture horror figure on par with Frankenstein. But watching the original movie again, it really resets the tone of how brutal Freddy originally was before he became the lovable guy with the clawed glove. Freddy was a bad fucker!

A Nightmare on Elm is about these kids whose nightmares are killing them. When they fall asleep a figure comes to them and brutally slays them. That figure is Fred Kruger. Fred was a child killer that used a glove with knives at the fingers which made a lethal claw. He terrorized Elm Street back in the day and was caught by the parents of the slain kids. When the parents finally got a hold of him, they extracted vengeance and killed him good.

Now Freddy is getting revenge on the new generation of Elm St. kids by invading their dreams and killing them in their sleep. No one is buying that this is really going down, but Nancy does. She has seen Fred and is intent on stopping him. This clever young lady figures out a way to bring Freddy out of the dream world and into the real one to give herself a fighting chance.

A Nightmare on Elm Street has some truly horrific moments and is one of the scariest movies of all time. While some of the special effects can be dated, the overall movie is one of the best. Hearing Wes Craven give the commentary on the movie was awesome. He talked a lot about the Genesis of the movie (LOL) and some of the things that inspired this movie (like the true life story of a boy whose dreamed appeared to kill him). Again, a brilliant movie and one you need to have.

Armani Watch Rating: AAAAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of April 6, 2009

I Didn’t Love You Man

I want to apologize about my little “hiatus” over here. It really wasn’t my fault. We’ve all been so busy these days. The guys over at GENESIS say they’ve been swamped with all sorts of cool projects, including the F.A.M.E. Awards, which just kicked off voting. I am so honored to get my first nomination — for “Favorite Female Rookie” — so make sure you pop over there and vote for me and the rest of my Digital Playground peeps. I’ve also been really busy, shooting sexy pics and my newest movie for Digital Playground, which is tentatively called Lies. I got fucked by Scott Nails in it, and if it looks as good as it felt (which it will, of course), this will be an amazing movie. Speaking of movies…

I took a break from twittering for a minute (Twitter.com/XXXSupermodel) to check out the new comedy I Love You Man starring Paul Rudd. It was just okay. I laughed some but it is nothing I’d have in my DVD collection.

This lighthearted little fare is about Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) when on the verge of marrying his chick realizes he has no guy friends (to her gaggle of trollops). So he sets off in search of meeting a cool guy friend to add to his side of the wedding party. Easier said than done from my experience. Looking for a cool guy in L.A. is hit and miss. Anyway, Peter wants to have more guy friends and he goes about it weird (but amusing) ways.

He gets set up on guy dates in search of his bromance. His brother tries to help him out, all to no avail until he runs into an eccentric guy named Sydney Fife (Jason Segel). The two hit it off and get into a few wacky adventures have a spat, separate, then reunite for the wedding. Sorry, I don’t mean to ruin the movie for you, but the formula of this flick is about as easy as I am in one of my movies.

The cast does some good stuff. Jon Favreau takes being a dick to new lengths. Kinda like me but in a different way, LOL. Jaime Pressly does a nice job, and I really like her hair in the movie. (Sorry, hairstyles go a long way with me.) Jason Segel is ok. He’s good at being a weird guy. Paul Rudd has done better work elsewhere.

The funniest part of this movie is a running subplot which involves Lou Ferrigno, of Incredible Hulk fame. If I take anything away from this movie it is don’t fuck with Lou Ferrigno.

Overall, I wouldn’t bend over backwards to see this movie again, I might bend over forwards though. LOL Anyway, if you got a few bucks to blow I say spend it watching Watchmen again or pick up another copy of Angelina Armani: The Big Hit. You’ll definitely get more bang for your buck there.

Armani Watch Rating: AAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of March 18, 2009

Should Have ‘Last House’ Been Left (Alone)?

Let me just say, I liked the 1972 original Last House on The Left. I also like Wes Craven (Producer of this one and Director of the ‘72, and who I met — see pic above) and let me tell ya, I was pretty damned excited to see this remake of the hardcore horror classic. I even mentioned it to Wes when I saw him about a week ago. But after sitting though a screening of the movie last week, I’m left as empty than the racks of BEBE after a half off sale.

Last House on The Left is about a couple of girls (Sara Paxton and Martha MacIsaac) that wonder into the path of an escaped convict and his crew. The girls are taken into the woods then brutalized, beaten, raped and left for dead. The criminals stumble upon a house which coincidentally happens to be the home of one of said girls. The parents (Monica Potter and Tony Goldwyn) welcome the evil do-ers in out of the rain, only to shortly realize later that their missing daughter was hurt by these villains. When the parents do realize this fact, they take out their vengeance and a bloody mess ensues.

Directed by Dennis Iliadis, the movie looks awesome and the actors do very well with what little they are given, there just isn’t much story to get into. The resolution at the end felt as awkward as those pair of shoes lying at the bottom of the closet that are two sizes too small; looks good but I just couldn’t get into it.

The story worked better in the original, in a small budget indie film. In a major motion pic it seems stretched beyond its grasp. On a cozy Sunday evening rent Last House on The Left, it is a decent watch, but may have been better… left alone.

Armani Watch Rating: AAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Images courtesy of Rogue Pictures and Midnight Entertainment.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of March 10, 2009

Watching the ‘Watchmen’

Hey everyone! I’m currently on the set filming my exciting new movie for Digital Playground, Teachers, but I wanted to take a minute and hit you with this week’s Armani Watch. For this installment I’ll take a look at the new superhero hit movie, Watchmen!

Friday night I ventured over to Universal Studio’s Citywalk to catch the opening night showing of Watchmen (and do some shopping). Now, as you know, I have seen my fair share of superhero movies, but I didn’t exactly know what to expect. I had not read the graphic novel that this is based on, so I was not familiar with the characters, but they had enough elements of other superheroes that I could draw from.

The Watchmen’s universe is kinda like if Superheroes were to exist in the real world. As everyone is flawed (except me, of course, LOL) these heroes are. Unlike Superman and Batman, these are like real people with powers (or just really cool abilities).

The plot begins as one of these guys, The Comedian, is killed (he’s like The Punisher). It sets his former crime fighting partners off trying to figure out who killed him and why. Watchmen is more than a murder mystery as it really gets into what broke these former heroes down and shines a spotlight on their humanity.

The look of the movie from director Zack Snyder (300, Dawn of the Dead) was awesome. From the costumes (Silk Spectre, played by Malin Ackerman, is f’n hot!) to the action scenes to the acting. Everything is larger than life in this world, but at the same time, keeping it real. Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson) is a Batman type who is a “good guy” that may actually be too good and out of his element. Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) is a hero who seems to have lost his way and seen that evil can only be eliminated, not reformed. Doctor Manhattan (Billy Crudup) is similar to Superman in the sense that he’s almost a god among men, and how detached he is from humanity.

I’m trying not to be all serious, but Watchmen is epic. I really got into it. To kinda make a point of its despair the movie’s end message seems to be “to win, sometimes you have to lose.” Okay, enough of that I’m off to shoot a sex scene. LOL.

Armani Watch Rating: AAAAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Images courtesy of Warner Bros..

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of March 4, 2009

It’s a Wonderful Woman

It’s been raining here in Los Angeles the last week so I wasn’t for going out too much, BUT I knew I had to take care of you guys and bring you the new installment of The Armani Watch. SO, it was a stay at home DVD kind of day.

In bringing you sexy fuckers something new to watch, so I thought I would review the new animated movie from DC comics starring one of my favorite superheroes (next to The Hulk), Wonder Woman!

This DVD just came out (so get your copy ASAP) and I have to say, it’s very cool! It tells the origin of how Wonder Woman came to be and her first major battle. Wonder Woman’s mom was a great Amazon who fought this shady guy named Ares (the God of War) and handed him back his ass. So he got locked up on Paradise Island.

Years later a pilot, Steve Trevor, crash lands on the island and the queen needs someone to take him back to “man’s world” (that’s us). To do that, she holds a contest to see which is the best Amazon for the job. Who should win but her daughter Princess Diana. She dons the costume and becomes Wonder Woman.

While all that was going on Ares makes a break for it and is free, his first order of business is to fuck things up. NOT COOL! He comes to America and start unleashing hell…literally! The queen needs someone to go and kick his ass; since Dianna is coming to America she can do that as well.

A little bit easier said than done. FOR REAL! Demons demolish the army and all kinds of wild stuff happen! Just as all seems lost the Amazons roll in but are overwhelmed as dead Amazons return to fight the living ones, all. Wow. Wonder Woman handles business and good prevails, but not without loss.

This movie is pretty bad ass. I’m not one for cartoons (animated movies) but this was pretty hardcore. Dudes got their heads chopped off, it was madness. Wonder Woman a rockin’ time and I highly recommended it. I’m even thinking about being Wonder Woman for Halloween. How would you guys like that? Huh? LOL

The voice talents in this movie is an all-star cast, too. You have Keri Russell as Wonder Woman, Alfred (Doctor Octupus fame) as Ares, plus Rosario Dawson, Marg Helgenberger, Virginia Madsen, Oliver Platt and Rick Overton filling out the cast.

My favorite lines from the movie:
Messenger: Mr. President, the threat has been neutralized.
The President: How?
Messenger: It seems by a group of armored super models.

Armani Watch Rating: AAAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Wonder Woman images courtesy of Warner Bros. Animation.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of February 25, 2009

Fanboys

Fanboys… I was bamboozled. I went into this movie kinda expecting as lighthearted comedy about fans of the Sci-Fi genre. While I’m more of a horror girl, I kinda know a thing or two about Star Wars, Star Trek , etc. But for Fanboys, I got a little too deep over my head.

First, the plot: Taking place in 1998 a group of friends plan one last great journey together — to trek across the country to Skywalker Ranch in Cali to see the new Star Wars movie (The Phantom Menace) before anyone else. Which makes about as much sense as it sounds. But okay, I’m down for the ride.

We quickly hit a roadblock because while I may know how every way Jason, Freddy and LeatherFace may have died and been resurrected, I’m just a peripheral Star Wars fan. I mean I know who Yoda and Ewoks are, but once you go farther than that you may as well be speaking Kilngon to me. And for someone to really experience this movie (and get all the jokes) they have to be well acquainted with the Star Wars trilogy (the first one, the real one). If that’s you, you’ll love it. There were many a people rolling in the aisles with laughter while I was vainly trying to IMDB Star Wars on my iPhone to get the references.

Cameos were made by Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia), Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian) and William Shatner (T.J. Hooker lol just kidding, Captain Kirk). I thought it was a nice touch to add them to the mix and the crowd lost their damn minds when they showed up on screen.

So, anyway, while the characters seemed likable enough and the adventure was a fun ride, unless you know the Lucas franchise chapter and verse by heart, a lot of this movie will do the Kessel run (in less than 12 parsecs) over your head. HA! IMDB paid off! I made one cool Star Wars reference before this was over. LOL.

Armani Watch Rating (for fanboys): DDD ½
Armani Watch Rating (for civilians): DD ½

Week of February 18, 2009

Friday the 13th 2009

As promised I wanted to give you the lowdown on the new “re-imagining/re-visiting/whatever of ‘Friday the 13th,’ and I was there on opening day and have to say that it actually rocked!

I am a horror fanatic, but you knew that already right!?!? Well, I was a little apprehensive about this movie, because the ‘Friday the 13th’ series is one of my favorites. So, to re-start this franchise is a very touchy subject to me. I was pretty excited though, and on ‘Friday the 13th’ I went to see what was crackin’

If you are not familiar with ‘Friday the 13th,’ well, you suck, but here is a crash course. Camp counselors are too busy getting biz-zay, and the kid they are watching drowns, mom stalks and chops ‘em up, last one standing beheads her. The Kid, Jason is not actually dead and witnesses the beheading. Several years later gets payback on some more counselors and wanderers that invade his space, Camp Crystal Lake. While doing this he finds a hockey mask, dons it and goes on killing.

Directed by Marcus Nispel, this movie is a mash-up of parts 1-3, or what I just said in the paragraph above. It’s a lot of fun to watch, especially for the die hard fan as the F13 2.0 gives many nods to the establishing franchise. The killings are cool and pretty much the movie gives you everything you want. Sex, killings, blood and a hockey masked murderer.

If I had a criticism, it would be that there was not enough of the characters to care too much about them before they got killed. had I given more of a shit I would have wanted them to escape.

Also I wanna give a shout out to Deerk Mears who stars as Jason. I met him the week before last and thought he was the nicest guy you could meet, super kool! Good luck!

Armani Watch Rating: AAAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of February 12, 2009

Friday the 13th TOP SIX

This Friday the remake of Friday the 13th hits the screens at theaters everywhere. If you have been reading this column (and you should be!) you’ll know that I’m a great big huge horror fan. Yeah, I collect horror DVDs and shoes — lots and lots of shoes. So, anyway, in anticipation of the upcoming new Jason, I wanna take a look at the overall series (I’ll spare showing you my shoes… for now). Allow me to present to you The Armani Watch’s Friday The 13th Top Six…

Friday the 13th

This is the one that started it all. A legend is going around Camp Crystal Lake that several years ago a child drowned due to the negligence of the camp counselors who were too busy boning. The legend continues that the counselors were massacred by the boy who returned from the dead BUT is it a legend??? The current Camp Counselors think so, until they start getting chopped up. Watch out for the twist ending that will knock your socks (or panties) off!

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Jason finally gets his, but good in this 4th installment. He’s racked up several numbers on his killing spree and has been unstoppable, until now. In the movie’s climax the form of a shaved headed 12-year-old Corey Feldman (you have to see the movie to get it) fucks with Jason’s Head (and mine) long enough for him to be taken down. It was supposed to be the end of our hockey mask wearing bad boy, but not even a hatchet to the head can stop him LOL.

Freddy vs. Jason

Okay, I’m not gonna lie. Just the thought of these two bad boys in the same room gets me all tingly in the panties. It’s a clash of the titans when these two horror icons come to blows (and chops). Freddy gets off of Elm Street and a blood bath ensues when he wakes a sleeping Jason. It’s definitely a fun ride and a keeper for the DVD collection. I’m still waiting for a round two!

Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

After the misstep that was called Part Five, this sixth installment gets us back to the real Mr. Voorhees and Camp Crystal Lake. Jason has been dead and buried after the events of the fourth movie, but he’s resurrected by a bolt of lightning. Oh, if only it were that easy. Now, if you thought killing this guy was tough before, this “zombie” Jason is damn near impossible.

Friday the 13th: The New Blood

Before Freddy stepped in to fight him, Jason had never met his match until this 7th installment when Mr. Voorhees goes up against a chick with telekinesis powers. I heard a rumor that the character, Tina, was originally supposed to be Carrie (from the movie of the same name). Now how bad ass would that have been? Our hockey-masked hatchet murderer vs. the pig blood covered prom queen. *Le’ sigh* but that’s me just dreamin’.

Friday the 13th Part 2

Jason was only seen briefly at the end of the first movie, this time around the movie is all him and boy, is he pissed. At the climax of the first movie Jason’s momma gets beheaded (ouch) and now he is out for…blood. (HA!) Though he doesn’t wear his trademark mask (he doesn’t get that until Part 3) F13 Pt.2 is filled with thrills and scares

Okay, there ya go for this week’s look at some super cool movies. Next week I’ll bring back a review for the new Friday the 13th!

Armani Watch Rating: 13A’s… ‘cause I can!

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of February 4, 2009

Butterfly Effect: Revelation

It is that time of the year again for the After Dark Horrorfest. 8 “Films to Die For” are screened in theaters all across the country as part of the fest. Because I was in Vegas for AEE/AVN Awards, signing for my company (Digital Playground) and appearing on stage at the awards (as the trophy girl, YAY ME!) I didn’t get a chance to really dig in and see all the movies. I did catch one though, Butterfly Effect: Revelation, the third film in the series!I know you are probably saying “there was a ‘2′?” LOL, yes there was. But we are talking about this one and believe it or not, It was actually pretty good.

Sam Reed has been helping the cops track down bad guys by secretly going back in time to witness the crimes and then as he returns to the present, points out the criminals. However he is still haunted by the death of his own girlfriend, whose murderer’s identity has not truly been found. Reed has been warned not to go back for personal agendas as fixing the past would fuck up the present.

But the man don’t wanna hear that and goes and does it. What happens? He fucks up the present. ARGH! LOL. So now he has to keep going back trying to straighten things out, and like a man usually does when trying to fix things, he makes it worse. HA. Should have sent in a chick.

Lots of suspense and while the plot could have easily been too hard to follow, it wasn’t and everything made sense.

Armani Watch Ratings: AAAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Movie photos courtesy of After Dark Films

Week of January 28, 2009

There Are Two Kinds of Bad…

In this week’s installment of “The Armani Watch,” I’m talking to you about two movies that I just watched. While doing my usual shopping on Melrose (‘cause I need more clothes), I decided to roll over to Amoeba on Sunset to pick up a couple of DVDs. Two very random and very different DVDs caught my eye.

Now let me preface this by saying that there are two kinds of bad movies. Some are so bad they’re good, like low budget flicks. The other bad are ones that just plain suck…

Comic Book Villains (2002)

Holy Shit! This movie sucked, and not in a good way like I do. I like superheroes and comic books (Shhh! Don’t tell anyone I’m a geek like that!), so it was with great enthusiasm that I picked up this DVD. But this movie could not decide if it wanted to be funny or dramatic, which it ended up being neither.

The plot about two competing comic book shops who are both trying to land a recently deceased collector’s comic gold mine went way out to left field and quickly delved into nonsense. This should have been better because the cast is pretty good — Cary Elwes, Donal Logue, D.J. Qualls, Michael Rapaport, Natasha Lyonne, Danny Masterson.

The acting was just ok. I can’t blame the actors, though. They really did not have anything to work with. It was all very convoluted. As much as this movie attempted to play to the comic book lovin’ crowd, the tacked on message at the end to “experience life outside of the Marvel and DC universe” was a slap in the face for any fan boy (or girl) that put up with this drivel for the last 92 minutes.

UGH. I mentally organized my show collection because I was so bored with this bomb. See what I go through for you guys? I sit through mind-numbing crap, so you don’t have to.

Black Water (2007)

I really, really liked this movie! This low-budget little thriller about a small tourist group who gets terrorized by a giant crocodile while stranded in the swamps of Northern Australia may at first seem like a “croc” of shit get it?!). But it was actually pretty entertaining, albeit in a mindless, silly way.

It took the “Jaws” approach and went with “less is more” so we didn’t see the crocodile too much, instead relying on the hint of horror that was lurking.

It’s based on a true story, which means I’m staying out of the fucking swamps. But then again, when would you ever catch me and my Coach shoes trampling along the murky swamps down under? LOL! Like I said not a bad effort, and real low budget fun.

So what do we have? Avoid Comic Book Villains like the fucking plague, and check out Black Water when you want something on during a night of insomnia.

Do you have any recommendations for me that you want me to check out for both my viewing pleasure and “The Armani Watch?” And no. You don’t need to be sending me your homemade sex videos. Drop me a line here and let me know.

Armani Watch Ratings: 1/2 A and AAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

© 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Week of January 21, 2009

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Last week I reviewed the special edition DVD of My Bloody Valentine in preparation for the big release last week in theaters of a remake in 3-D. I also said that I would let you know the deal on the new one and if it lived up to the hype, and all I can say is, “Wow!”

I had a blast watching My Bloody Valentine 3-D! It’s about damn time a horror movie came out and rocked the house…this one did just that. This is a rare occasion where the re-make surpasses the original, and if you read my review last week, you know I really, really liked that one, too! So, anyway. It was with great enthusiasm that I headed out to Sherman Oaks to view this movie.

An accident in a mine shaft sets things off, as lone survivor Harry Warden kills his co-workers then falls into a coma. A year later he wakes up to begin a Valentine’s Day slaughter. Killing off a bunch of kids partyin it up at the mine, almost putting a pick axe through the head of the kid who caused the accident the year before. But the cops come and save the kid’s life by shooting Harry, who runs off into the mine.

Fast forward ten years later and the killer returns to cause havoc and mayhem once again on Valentine’s Day. The movie takes a major twist as it is revealed that Harry was killed by the cops during the events a decade ago, so that leaves the burning question….who the hell is the killer??? And if it’s not Harry, then WHY is someone doing the killing? Dun dun dun!

I’m telling ya, the movie was a rollercoaster ride of fun, only borrowing certain plot points from the original, but still being faithful to its spirit. Ya herd.

The 3-D part really worked well. You could almost feel the swinging pick axe right above your head! It was so real I had to check to see if there was blood splattered all over me after I left the theater, because that would be kinda cool. Yeah, I had to wear some great big huge glasses, but if you have seen my sunglasses you know that’s how I roll. LOL.

SO go check it out! Hell, I might just go with ya to see it again!

Armani Watch Rating: AAAA 1/2

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

Photos of movie courtesy of Lions Gate

Week of January 14, 2009

My Bloody Valentine (Special DVD Edition)

Here at “The Armani Watch,” I take great pride in bringing to light the hottest movies to hit the big screen and some of the coolest new DVDs as well.

One mucho popular cult film, My Bloody Valentine, returns to DVD in the form of a special edition. While the movie has been floating around on disc before, now this uncut version hits stores everywhere to coincide with the remake (which hits theatres this Friday, in 3-D no less, and will be reviewed HERE next week).

Have you seen Halloween? Check! Have you seen Friday the 13th? Check! Take both those movies and mash them together and you have this week’s movie, My Bloody Valentine. While that is selling MBV kinda short, it is what it is and makes no bones about it. It’s a by the numbers early 80’s slasher flick, but is lotsa fun to watch.

Here is the plot (what little there is). Twenty years ago on Valentine’s Day, an accident occurs where several miners are killed in a dark shaft due to the desire of others to party with the drunken floosies rather than watch out for their fellow miners. Well, one of them, Harry Warden, survives and takes out his vengeance on the partygoers with a pick axe. My hero.

Anyway. Harry warns the town to never celebrate the holiday again or he’s going to pick axe people all over again. But of course as that was 20 years ago and now as Harry has become more of an urban legend, a group of horny (the best kind) legal teens want to party. Even though a warning (in the form of a heart shaped candy box filed with an actual heart) is sent to the sheriff’s office, a party ensues. Which leads to (dun, dun, dun…) a bunch of people getting killed!

Like I said the plot is nothing you haven’t seen before, but it’s still a fun watch, so just go with it. I did.

This new DVD release includes several minutes of footage that was cut from the theatrical release and that horror fans, like myself, have been waiting for. So you wanna have some fun and get all riled up for My Bloody Valentine 3-D? Then go out and pick up this movie. You are sure to have some bloody good fun!

Armani Watch Rating: AAAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

Week of December 31, 2008

Quantum of Solace

I have to admit that I have never been a huge James Bond fan. Actually, I pretty much know nothing about him except that he’s the world’s greatest spy, and the sexy Daniel Craig now plays him. This movie is the sequel to Casino Royale, which re-started the series with great acclaim.

Quantum picks up where the last one pretty much left off. In this one, Bond wants revenge against the bad guys who fucked over the girl he fell in love with in the previous movie. The girl ended up dying and 007 is not happy at all. The bad guys want word domination, which I can appreciate, but they must be stopped. Bond is a bad ass who goes outside his agency (the British Secret Service) to track down these fools and make these fuckers pay. Now that’s my kinda guy!

The movie has a lot of action and adventure, but if you are like me and did not see Casino Royale, you are going to have a hard time with some of the plot points (like me). I went back and watched the last one, so now I get a lot of it and want to see Quantum again, so do yourself a favor with a Casino Royale primer.

It’s not as good as Casino Royale, but it was still a pretty decent Bond film judging by the few I’ve seen over the years. In 007-speak, it’s not a Goldfinger or a From Russia with Love which are widely regarded as the best Bond films ever, but it’s no Moonraker either (thought of as one of the worst by many). The action was plentiful, and overall it was a lot like Casino in the sense it was a much darker Bond than Roger Moore or Connery ever played. To me it felt like an in between kinda movie. What I mean is that it seemed more like a set-up for the next Bond installment. It was neither here or there.

Now onto another one of my favorite things — hot chicks. A lot has been said about the Bond Girls. I’d love to be one. They are sexy bitches that can handle shit and blow things up. I can get down with that. Sounds pretty close to my real life anyway, except without some crazy guy out for world domination. That’s my job.

Check out my first movie for Digital Playground, The Big Hit, to see what I mean. I play an assassin, and I know how to take care of all kinds of business. It’s hot as hell and I hope 007 approves. Make sure you pick it up in a few weeks and I’ll have all the dirty details right here first!

Armani Watch Rating: AAA

Be sure to pre-order The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak. Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Happy New Year & Wishes for a Great 2009 from Angelina Armani and everyone at Digital Playground!

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

Week of December 23, 2008

12 Hours of XXXMas

If you are looking for something to watch and pass the time until that big red guy slides down your chimney, and since The Big Hit (my debut movie with Digital Playground) doesn’t come out until January 13th, here are a few of my recommendations for some holiday cheer. I figure that if you sit down around noon on Christmas Eve day, you can get through these six movies which are about 12 hours (or so) of some of my favorite holiday DVDs until the Santa cums to town.

Black Christmas (2006)
If you know me, you know that I’m a horror babe, and this is one movie I enjoy watching late at night with the lights off, half naked. Some sorority chicks are holed up for the holiday and get freaked out when an obscene caller phones in. Geez, like that’s a bad thing! I’ve been known to do a little heavy breathing of my own on my Sidekick! However, this creep starts killing off the girls, and gets a little too literal trying to get to a woman’s heart. Ewww… While this remake isn’t as good as the original 1974 version (it’s way convoluted), these chicks are a lot hotter and I found myself with my hand in the cookie jar, if you know what I mean. Bonus points for slight shower scene nudity.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
I fuckin’ love this movie. Part Halloween movie, part Christmas, and all fun. I have been watching this since I was a kid. It’s Tim Burton’s best movie. It’s a stop motion animated movie, kinda like those old Christmas specials that pop up on tv, except this one is about Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween, who discovers Christmas and takes it upon himself to deliver some Xmas cheer. I could watch this movie a million times and still love it as much as the first time I saw it.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
FUCK YEAH! Santa Claus goes on a killing spree. He must work at the Beverly Center, because that mall is a fucking madhouse. Trying to shop there for my AVN clothes has almost driven me to murder, too! LOL! Anyway, this movie is a horror exploitation classic from the ’80s. There’s lots of blood, lots of gore, and everything a girl needs to get her through the night… well almost everything. [perverted thoughts cross thru mind] Mmm-hmm [perverted thoughts]

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
With A Christmas Story, this is the funniest holiday movie out there, and probably the best Vacation movie. I know you’ve seen it, so I won’t go too much into the plot except say that this one has the Griswold family getting the rest of their dysfunctional clan over to their house to celebrate Christmas. They’re all here, and Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) pretty much steals the show from Clark (Chevy Chase). Everyone can relate to someone in the Griswold clan, and while we might not have Great Aunts wrapping up their cats as presents, or Great Uncles having their hairpieces set on fire, this one definitely rings true on a lot of counts. I love this movie because as fucked up as they all are, they all love each other dearly and that’s kinda what matters the most, especially this holiday season. It’s about being with your loved ones. Awww!

A Christmas Story (1983)
I think this movie has replaced It’s A Wonderful Life as the go-to Christmas movie that people watch, and rightfully so. I think it’s hilarious, and it’s even funnier after downing a little Christmas cheer (I bypass the spiked egg nog and opt for some Vodka and Red Bull. That’s my cocktail of choice, so take note suckas!) It’s a recount of Ralphie’s childhood Christmas and how he spent it with his family. As simple as it is complex, it gets into the relationship and meaning of family, while being a fun heartwarming tale. This is a must see for sure. Bonus Points for me: Bob Clark, who directed this movie, also directed the original Black Christmas!

Die Hard (1988)
Shit blows up. How cool is that? After all of this movie watching, you need something to get you going again. I don’t want you falling asleep, especially if you are with me. There will be no sleeping — I need my stocking stuffed. >:-) Okay, so maybe this isn’t a “true” Christmas movie, but it takes place during a Christmas party, so it qualifies as far as I’m concerned! Bruce Willis is a NYC cop trapped in an L.A. building that terrorists have taken over, and instead of bouncing he has to stay to save his somewhat estranged wife. Whatta guy! Lots of action, a great movie and Hans Gruber (the bad guy played to perfection by Alan Rickman) can violate me with his candy cane if he so chooses.

Those are my six picks to watch this Xmas. I hope you and yours have a great holiday, and hopefully someone cums down my chimney.

Happy Holidays from Angelina Armani and everyone at Digital Playground!

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

Week of December 17, 2008

MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA

Yes, you’re reading this right. I’m reviewing a cartoon! I loved Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa! It is one of my favorite movies of the year. I’m a sucker for anything with cute furry animals (even if they’re animated), and this one I got right into. I really liked the first one, so when I went to see this one I was really excited.

Alex the Lion (voiced by Ben Stiller) is leading the gang — Marty the Zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the Giraffe (David Schwimmer) and Gloria the Hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) — back from being stranded on Madagascar to their “home” at the Central Park Zoo in New York City. They start to leave the island, but then find themselves in their native stomping grounds of Africa. With his return, Alex reunites with his long lost parents, and the rest of the gang who were hating on each other find more of their own kind and split up.

Makunga (Alec Baldwin) is an evil lion that is trying to take over Alex’s dad’s spot as the lion king (so to speak). Throw downs and challenges happen before the group can come back together. BUT because there is no place like home, the animals choose not to venture back to the concrete jungle and stay in their native Africa.

The other superstars lending some vocals to this fun flick for all ages are Sacha Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, Will.I.Am and the late Bernie Mac. While there’s lots of stuff here for the little ones, there’s also a ton of adult (not our kind of adult) themed humor that will have you laughing out loud.

What’s crackalackin? This is! I loved it, loved it loved it. I recommend this movie to everyone, and when this comes to DVD I’m going to buy and put it on my iPod. LOL.

If they make a Madagascar 3 I wanna be in it as one of the animals. I can be a cheetah! Why? Because they are very sexy animals and like me, they are fast and always on the move, and when they want something, they get it! HA!

Armani Watch Rating: AAAAA

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Candid photos by Monstar – courtesy of MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

Week of December 10, 2008

HULK SMASH!

There’s nothing better after a big holiday dinner with all the fixins than kicking back on the couch and popping in a DVD. My recommendation for your viewing that the whole family gathering can watch? Digital Playground’s Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge. Okay, so maybe Aunt Fran won’t appreciate watching Jesse Jane and Evan Stone fuck, but I guess it’s not really for everyone.

Okay, so here’s “Plan B.” Check out The Incredible Hulk! Recently released on DVD, this is one of this summer’s blockbusters. Starring Edward Norton as Bruce Banner, Hulk is an exciting story of superhero a not only fighting against himself and the U.S. Army, but an evil monster known as the Abomination (Tim Roth).

In this re-start of the franchise that Ang Lee almost ruined a few years ago, Banner is close to solving the curse that transforms him, but with the army on his tail a cat and mouse chase occurs. When an over enthusiastic solider’s (Roth) attempt to recreate the same accident that irradiated Banner goes awry, an evil monster is born who can possibly beat the hell out of our hero.

The action is hot and the CGI Hulk looks amazing. The movie itself is huge with lots of explosions, fighting, fun….everything you’d expect from a flick like this. All the actors deliver. William Hurt as General Ross comes across great as a man determined, yet obsessed. Liv Tyler doesn’t try to step outside her limited range which works well for her as the damsel in distress, and while Ed Norton rocks, of course, it’s Tim Roth who excels with his villainous ways and practically steals the show. While the 2003 Hulk was overly moody this one comes across as what people wanna see. Director Louis Leterrier does a smashing job (no pun intended).

Any good comic geek (like me) will be able to spot a lot of nods to not only the comic book but to the ’70s tv show as well. I’m not going to lie, upon my first viewing (and yes there were several) I had no idea about a lot of the references to the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferigno show since I wasn’t even born when it was on the ai, but after I was schooled a little from even geekier friends, I can appreciate the fact that they were put in.

I have the 3-disc DVD that was only available at Target in the exclusive packaging, because I’m cool like that, and the extras on the discs are pretty fucking cool. One of my favorites is the deleted scene, which is a harbinger of sorts to the forthcoming Avengers movie with Captain America’s “cameo”

My recommendation? Go out and rent or get this movie! If you don’t you will be making me angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. (But you will like me when I’m horny!)