Oh, that wretched holiday is dawning upon us. This conspiracy theory disguised as a holiday of expressing one’s love truly is a money-making scheme that is fast approaching in a few days. Let’s face it. It’s a no-win situation. It’s a reminder to those who are single about their relationship status and it forces those who are under awkward pressure to participate in the sappy ritual of exchanging candy, roses, and crappy cards. Blech. Personally, I put more value into being told that I’m loved on a random Tuesday or when I receive flowers from someone “just because” or when someone calls out of the blue to see how I am. It’s occurrences like these that remind me that I’m loved, not some card from Hallmark specifically marked for February 14th.

In my opinion, celebrating this holiday is a sign of conformity to corporate America. According to recent statistics of the National Retail Federation, Americans are expected to spend $14.7 billion on Valentine’s Day this year. Are you going to be one of those suckers?

Allow me to share one of my favorite love poems I grew fond of in junior high school. Of course, that was an awkward time when I used to adorn my Algebra book with Marilyn Manson stickers, paint my nails black, and claim to be Wiccan because I had no friends to hang out with at lunchtime. However, I found solace in the school library amongst of my favorite authors: Stephen King, and my all-time fave, Edgar Allen Poe.

For this special occasion I’d like to share one of my favorite love stories, “Annabelle Lee” by the romantic Mr. Poe. How does this poem apply to Valentine’s Day? Because the character’s ultimate morbid devotion to his dead lover beats those cheesy love poems imprinted on cheap cards.

Annabelle Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulcher
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me
Yes! that was the reason
(as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we
Of many far wiser than we
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In the sepulcher there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Now there’s commitment for you! Any poor conformist that believes flowers, hearts, and candy given on this single day is collected recognition of true love or, much worse, atonement for the past year’s sins and wrongdoings should take a hint from Mr. Poe. His definition of love is certainly not to be taken lightly if he seems to think that lying by one’s dead lover every night is commitment. Write that on a greeting card!

Well, I hope you all have a terrific February 14th! If you’re down by El Paso, Texas, come by and say hi to me at the Red Parrot located at 14401 Gateway Blvd West. The club’s number is (915) 852-2181. We can discuss more poetry and acts of conformity in between my stage shows.

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I’ve never seen a movie, pornographic or otherwise, as disturbing as “Kids”. It was released in 1995 by Shining Excalibur Pictures, an independent distribution company created by Miramax Films’ Bob and Harvey Weinstein for the sole purpose of distributing this movie due to the disapproval of Disney, Miramax’s parent company, had with its NC-17 rating in the United States. The movie’s only known stars are young Chloe Sevigny and Rosario Dawson. I have never seen this movie before.

Knowing the infamous reputation preceding it, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to rent it via Blockbuster Online. To my pleasant surprise, I found the DVD tucked away snugly in a mess of assorted junk mail just a few days later. What a perfect treat to come home to after a tumultuous whirlwind of craziness the porn industry knows as AEE in good ol’ Las Vegas.

I throw my suitcases on the ground, not bothering to unpack them, and take a quick shower. I pop the movie in the DVD player and get settled underneath the covers, not anticipating the jaw-dropping mess that awaits my eyes.

It immediately begins with two prepubescent-looking “kids” madly making out in a setting which would easily befit a scene from a “young girl” porno series. Except the only difference is that the real scenario which the movie depicted doesn’t involve AIM tests or dated model releases. Anyhow, the freckly boy with a protruding under bite gently strokes the innocent doe-eyed girl’s cheek and woos her with enough convincing empty promises that he’s able to take off her colorful boy-cut panties and deflower that innocence. At that point, my memory unleashed a flurry of past heart-to-heart talks and words of wisdom that others had tried to bestow upon my peers and myself when I was younger; “Wait till you find someone special”, “Boys just want one thing”, “You can’t take back your virginity” — words I thankfully took some heed of, as I ended up not regretting losing my virginity to the person I lost it to. But I wanted to scream those same words of wisdom to that poor girl on my television set (although realistically I’d be screaming at a girl who would be like 31, since this movie was released in 1995), especially when that pasty little brat who accomplished his initial mission started raving about his recent exploits to another presumed fellow delinquent.

From an outsider’s perspective, these kids looked about the right age to be donned in crisp brown uniforms and accumulating merit patches for their sashes. Instead, they were parading around the dirty streets of New York dressed in oversized skate attire and using the foul vocabulary of a rusty sailor. The female characters in the movie were no exception. They were talking and giggling amongst themselves in what looked like could be another setting of a “young girl” porn series (maybe this time a younger lesbian series) and exchanging sexual stories that made me, someone who’s been actively involved in the fucking porn industry for four years, blush uncomfortably in my dumbfounded state of shock. The movie then continued to illustrate the lives of these teens as they went through their daily ventures, some of which included stealing liquor from corner stores, outright disrespecting and using filthy language towards elders, and beating up a confrontational thug to a bloody pulp in the middle of a park. I don’t want to give away most of the movie, but obviously this movie’s purpose was to intentionally prompt viewers to never underestimate “kids” and maybe even to second guess when “kids” say: “Oh, we’re just hanging out.”

One thing I do appreciate about this film is the way it was shot documentary style. It looked as though it were shown from the kid’s point of view. I did like the camera angles, and I thought that the lighting added to the reality that, I believe, the director was trying to portray. It had the perfect amount of tension to depict the seriousness of each character’s dilemma. I liked how it was hard to guess the “kid’s” (I shudder to use that word) exact ages despite them being portrayed as so young. The script was delivered in such a way that it was gritty and realistic, so much so that viewers could see this happening in REAL LIFE!!!

It is safe to say I didn’t drift off to sleep that night reminiscing of the fun times I just had in Vegas. Instead, traumatizing thoughts of these untamed kids running wild in concrete jungles haunted my dreams. According to the end credits, “a portion of the proceeds from this film will be donated to teen crisis organizations.” Good riddance.

See more of Gianna at www.giannalynn.com.

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I had been eagerly awaiting my trip to New Jersey for weeks. I was going to dance at “The Harem” and visit my good friend and Editor of GENESIS, Dan Davis. I was looking forward to seeing him, having a good time at the club, and hopefully play in the snow. However, my trip did not start out as great as I imagined.

Any ounce of good attitude disappeared immediately after my car started slowing down to a sluggish trudge along the crowded 405 freeway. This was the harbinger of the anxiety that I was to face later that day. I arrive at the sidewalk of my terminal just in time to discover that I wasn’t able to check my bags at the sidewalk. “That’s ok.” I reasoned with myself. “There is plenty of time before my flight.”

Then, after walking past the glass sliding doors, I stepped into what used to be the halls of LAX. It had transformed into a massive sea of men, women, children, luggage, pets, and irritable airport attendants meekly attempting to do their job. I am going to miss my flight. Between panic attacks and desperate failed attempts to cut in lines, I realize that this may not be a time when my boob job can help me, especially since the nearby attendants were grouchy women. I gave up and stood in that long, long ticketing line. Ugh.

After an hour and a half of counting my deep meditative breaths, I finally reach the front just to discover that my only option was to fly stand by in hopes that this “outrageous snowstorm” that has been delaying flights especially in Chicago would not affect my travels. Yayyy!

I grouchily walk to my gate and stand in line to talk to the attendant. I finally reach my turn and ask him how many people are ahead of me. Much to my very pleasant surprise, the attendant’s response put a huge smile on my face. He told me he did not know why they put me on standby and said he was going to give me the last seat on the plane. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

The rest of my weekend was smooth sailing. Dan showed me bits of New York as we drove through it from the airport on the way to Jersey. My first experience of New Jersey hospitality was at a diner. Their diners were so intimate. And they had these adorable coat hooks by each booth. Throughout dinner, I rambled on to Dan about random differences between LA and Jersey that I was fascinated about, like the cold weather. To me it was a nice change. And call me a dork, but I was so intrigued at the fact that people pump gas for you at the gas stations.

The next day, Dan took me to his office to finish some interviews. On the way, we drove by neighborhoods where kids were playing outside and throwing snowballs at each other. And the houses out in the Jersey suburbs had yards. Big yards that were covered in a white carpet of snow and that were decorated with mangers, trees, and beautiful lights. I look out the car window and saw white snowflakes descending from the sky. And then, all my anger at the world disappeared. I’m kidding. I’m not an angry person. But, to a California girl like me, it was like stepping into a winter-themed Thomas Kinkade painting. For a few days, I could escape to a mini-retreat away from a bustling city where people string Christmas lights on their palm trees.

The Harem Cabaret spoiled me rotten. This is by far my favorite club I have featured at. I had such a great time! They were some of the nicest, coolest people I have ever met. The owner, Tony, was amazing. He was cool enough to rearrange my show schedule because of the snowstorm. Everyone made me feel so comfortable. Especially, the manager Stephen, the GM Nicky D., and Suzie, the sexy VIP Hostess. I developed a little crush on her.

We all had a great time eating and laughing and just hanging out in the back dining area at the club. The food  there is so unbelievable! It was so delicious. It was like being in a five-star restaurant. I had lamb chops the first night and filet mignon the next night. I couldn’t stop eating because everything they fed me tasted yummy. They might as well have rolled me onstage. Sexy!

I thoroughly enjoyed performing my sets more than I normally do. It was such a fun environment to get naked to! My last outfit was a skimpy little Santa costume to which I danced to a version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by Twisted Sister. As I stepped off the stage naked wearing only my Santa hat and tall black boots, the naughty girl inside me giggled at the fact that I just stripped to Santa music. Haha!

I wanted to go outside and make naked snow angels, but everyone started to lecture me on hypothermia and pneumonia so I decided against that idea and just flashed. The plows driving by definitely enjoyed it, and I want to thank Gabe for putting up with my dorkdom in the snow.

That completes my Jersey trip. I got to frolic in the snow, visit a good friend, and experience a white Jersey Christmas. Plus I learned a new Christmas song. It goes like this:

Who’s got a beard that’s long and white? Santa’s got a beard that’s long and white.
Who comes around on a special night? Santa comes around on a special night.
Special night, beard that’s white, Must be Santa, must be Santa,Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
Who wears boots and a suit of red? Santa wears boots and a suit of red.
Who wears a long cap on his head? Santa wears a long cap on his head.
Cap on head, suit that’s red, Special night, beard that’s white, Must be Santa must be Santa, Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
Who’s got a big red cherry nose? Santa’s got a big red cherry nose.
Who laughs this way: HO HO HO? Santa laughs this way: HO HO HO!
HO HO HO, cherry nose, Cap on head, suit that’s red, special night, beard that’s white, Must be Santa must be Santa, Must be Santa, Santa Claus.

Now I can go home and wear flip-flops in Los Angeles.

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This past Saturday was one of those days when you immediately know it is going to be a good day. I woke up to rays of sunshine beaming through the windows and stared at a gorgeous clear blue sky.

After lazily rolling around in bed, I heard my phone beep. It was my cousin. She and her husband invited me to go to the zoo. I love going to the zoo! My cousin and I love doing reminiscent things which take us back to happy childhood memories when paying bills were of no concern and gas prices were cheap.

It was like stepping into a time zone when we arrived at the zoo. I was a carefree little kid again! My first stop was the ice cream stand. How can one go to the zoo and not have any ice cream? After devouring my melting ice cream cone in a matter of seconds, we walked around looking for the tram. (I know I write cute things about my inner child being free and crap, but there is no way my lazy ass has the same energy that I used to have when I was younger.)

From the comfortable seats of a breezy tram, we enjoyed a great tour of the animals. Among the animals we saw were the giraffe, a hippo, and a few monkeys. I could not help but notice how flimsy-looking some of the cages looked. All it would need to take is for the monkey to slip his tail through a warped hole in the metal fence and pick up the bundle of keys from an unassuming zookeeper. Didn’t they see Curious George or Pirates of the Caribbean? After unlocking his cage, the monkey will swing over to the lion’s den and….

Anyways, I had a great day! Next stop…Disneyland!

XOXO
Gianna Lynn

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For more Gianna Lynn visit GiannaLynn.com and Myspace.com/IslandJewels

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