The topic that’s on everyone’s mind in adult isn’t if Pirates II will outsell the first, AVN nominations, who’s trashing who on the blogs or what sitcom is up next for a parody. The burning question is who will you vote for come next Tuesday, Obama/Biden or McCain/Palin,
We decided to ask the adult world’s biggest stars what they would do if they were elected to the Oval Office. Over the next week, we’re giving a sneak peak at some of the answers from the stars, and for the complete feature article, be sure to up the January 2009 issue of GENESIS which goes on sale next Tuesday at a newsstand by you or download it by clicking here when it’s available online.
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PENNY FLAME
If I was elected President, I would…
In the words of MC Breed, “If I were president I would paint the White House black.”
In a short time I would manage to fuck up every single facet of our Constitution, political structure and daily American life. I would start by legalizing marijuana, which is a given, so this would be done as the inaugural speech boomed over televisions across this fair country. No longer in debt, the country would rejoice, get high and fall asleep, leaving me to my own devices.
As president I would let all my friends from porn valley step into office to replace all of the old stinky hooker-loving politicians as soon as possible. This would be a funny day because I imagine when some of my girlfriends start moving their shit into these politician’s offices, and the politicians started moving out, we may witness a couple of familiar faces and have some “remember that one time” stories pop up. Among other things, I would tell the French that President Flame has declared war upon the country of desserts and croissants. I mean, I personally don’t give a fuck about the Frenchies. I actually really enjoy most things that are French, but everyone is always talking shit about them, so why not start a fight? What else are we going to do?
I would then begin whatever documents are necessary to initiate the process of California becoming its own country. Because lets face it, Cali is pretty much the tightest place ever. And then I guess we could make New York its own country too. That’s the way Notorious B.I.G. would have had it.
I’d make every strip club in America full nude with booze, and I’d make all the strippers nice, or at least nicer. And I’d make all the guys in strip clubs have tons of money and be cursed with an uncontrollably generous nature upon entering the door– without me having to give them a lapdance.
Then I’d plant some palm trees around the White House, now known as the “Black House,” and I’d have the BIGGEST, FATTEST AMERICAN FLAG POOL installed right in the front lawn. I would then throw the most killer pool party, and everybody I know would come…even my mom, and we’d all get trashed.
And after it was all said and done, I’d probably sleep right through that goddamn noisy red phone. Too much booze and pot will do that, and I definitely wouldn’t get the deposit back on the house.
If you are happy with the way things are run right now, I assure you, a vote for candidate Flame is NOT in your best interest.
DO NOT VOTE PENNY FLAME FOR PRESIDENT. WHATEVER YOU DO. VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE. ANYONE ELSE. (no country should be allowed to have as much fun as she would allow…..)
—Penny Flame
© 2008 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.
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