The topic that’s on everyone’s mind in adult isn’t if Pirates II will outsell the first, AVN nominations, who’s trashing who on the blogs or what sitcom is up next for a parody. The burning question is who will you vote for come next Tuesday, Obama/Biden or McCain/Palin. Everyone has a right to their opinion and to cast a ballot for the ticket of their choice. People will vote with their conscious, their wallets, their moral/religious beliefs and basically who they will impact them and our country best.

We decided to ask the adult world’s biggest stars what they would do if they were elected to the Oval Office. Of course some had the usual orgy in the Lincoln Bedroom answers from someone who gets paid to turn you on 24/7. However, others really took the question seriously and gave their honest opinions.

We of course don’t like to get political here at GENESIS. We’ll leave that to the various bloggers, pundits, newscasters, and so-called experts. We are here to entertain you. The only thing we ask is that you do your part as Americans and go vote! It’s your right and it’s part of what makes the United States the greatest country in the world.

Over the next week, we’ll give you a sneak peak at some of the answers from the stars, and for the complete feature article, be sure to up the January 2009 issue of GENESIS which goes on sale next Tuesday at a newsstand by you or download it by clicking here when it’s available online.

*****

BREE OLSON

If I were President, I would…

…build a wall between the US and Mexico immediately. It is difficult for any economy to have the burden to provide for over 500,000 illegal immigrants a year. I would hire more border patrol agents to prevent illegal immigrants from coming across. For those who avoid the warnings and continue to disobey and try to come across anyways, I would instruct the agents to shoot them (Once they know we are serious, nobody will try to cross). I would assign a large task force to remove all illegal immigrants and send them back to wherever they came from. Also, I would send all prisoners that are not citizens back to where they came from, unless they were in there for a very serious crime. I am not against immigrants, but they must do it legally like everyone else.

I would supply funds to welfare to help staff more social workers to get families in and out of the programs as fast as possible. With more workers, we could begin programs so welfare families are not allowed to stay on longer than a year.

I would legalize all gay marriage throughout the US. Even though we may not agree on the lifestyles, they are people just like us and many of them make positive contributions to society. If they are married it will make it easier for them to adopt our homeless children that are in great need of a home.

I would raise taxes on televisions, video games, cable, DVDs, and all other devices that are destructive to our minds and bodies. I would lower taxes on books and most educational things. I would build more schools to make it so that children had more one on one with teachers, and I would make private schools more affordable. I would raise minimum wage by three dollars to boost the economy and make it so that more families are able to keep one parent in the home to raise children the way it used to be. I would do my best to keep interest rates down and keep inflation down. Instead of raising taxes, I will simply cut wasteful or unneeded programs.

This is Bree Olson and I approve this message.

—Adam & Eve contract star, Bree Olson

© 2008 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher. Photo courtesy of Adam & Eve.

(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)

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(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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No, not that kinda bail, silly geese. We’re talking bailing or renewing with Adam & Eve when her contract is up in a few months.

The word on the street from sources is that the blond contract star and her “adviser,” Mike South, have been allegedly talking with a few companies in Pornland about possible moves once her contract expires, or perhaps it’s just for bargaining chips come renewal time. There has allegedly been talk with Digital Playground and iPorn to name a couple, and some sources have said that there are another one or two on the list, but I haven’t been able to confirm that.

Adam & Eve are the second company Kross has been contracted to. She was with Vivid for a short period, but that deal was mutually disolved and some not-so-nice things were said after the fact by Kross. If she jumps ship again, she’ll be the new nomad of porn, replacing Nikki Benz, with whom she will tie with at least three previous contract girl stints.

(5 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Ryan Rayzer of LukeFord.com is going on a MySpace witch hunt of sorts. It seems he has a problem with a few stars who do bulletin trades with others on the social networking site and stooped to actually call them spammers. One of the girls he called out was Nina Mercedez. She responded on her MySpace blog:

So someone on a well know blog ( I won’t mention the name of the blog as to not stoop to his level) recently posted that Tera Patrick, Nina Mercedez and Gina Lynn are spammers on myspace. (the only reason I know this is because they’re blog is sending so much traffic to my website..LOL maybe you should join my affiliate and at least make money off of it). This guy is basically complaining about my “Add my hot Friend” bulletins. Anyway there are a few things about this blog I do want to clear up!
First of all Ryan wrote: ” Today Nina Mercedez posted that she wants you to add her friend, Nina Mercedez. Oh yes I actually just said what you think I said. Can anyone says Ooops!”
OK this never happened it is complete Bullshit! look at my bulletin posts nothing was even posted at that time on that date! I posted add HeartBreaker Films and yes my photo was on it. It is my fucking company!
Second Ryan wrote: Nina Mercedez could not be reached for comment on this story
Bullsht again my emails all work fine and so do my phone numbers anyone who knows me knows I can ALWAYS be reached!
Look myspace is place for social networking but unlike some of the girls you have grouped me with (one of which has admitted to not running her myspace page) I personally run my myspace by myself I did hire Outbreak Marketing to do some networking for me on my bulletin board (ONLY) with other girls but I know all these girls I trade bulletins with and I personally send out bulletins myself but I also leave comments on my new friends pages and unlike MOST girls I accept messages on here and I answer as many as I can personally, I am on here everyday. I write my blogs personally and I update my mood and status several times a day. I don’t have a crew of people doing it for me! Like he is insinuating.
I think people forget bulletins are optional to read if you don’t want to click on them then don’t. If they bother you that much and you don’t want to meet some new cool people the delete me off your friends list. But don’t try and blast me on Blogs and try to make me look like a fool! I run several websites and blogs myself I am not perfect and I will admit to mistakes but this is bullshit and stupid! I get several emails daily from guys and Girls saying “please send me all your hot friends” I may get people who delete me and that’s fine but myspace is about networking and the bulletin board is there for just that! I know all the girls I ask you to add Fembomb for instance is a great person she comments her friends with personal messages, Lisa Marie is a fitness model and is very sweet and Sophia Santi I know very well. I do not send out spam and neither does OutBreak Marketing, the other day a well know girl was posting Bulletins saying “It’s my birthday today can everyone send me 1 dollar” That’s spam or “Do you know how much your worth” that’s spam but “add my hot friend” that’s an option your choice add them or don’t add them whatever but stop bitching and find someone else to hassle!
Ryan say’s I should only post bulletins when I have an upcoming appearance or a press release but who are you to set the rules and tell me what I should be posting this is myspace buddy I’ll post whatever I want! YOUR NOT THE DAMN DECIDER! GET OFF MY PAGE!
Nina Mercedez

Now first off, I don’t know why in the hell this guy would care who does what on there. I personally don’t view this as spamming in the least. Spamming would be sending out emails to those who don’t want to hear from it. With MySpace bulletins you can choose to easily ignore them. And I have to agree with Nina. Isn’t the whole purpose of sites like MySpace to network? I think this dude needs to get a hobby, or maybe he’s just “spamming” for popular star keywords and tags for his site.

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I received an email the other day and a package today from one Angelina Armani, the newest beauty on Digital Playground’s roster of contract stars, thanking me for helping her out with some stuff. She knew I’m a superhero movie dork and when she saw The Hulk at Target with their exclusive packaging, she said she just had to get it for me and my son to enjoy.

I didn’t do anything major, but unlike some ungrateful girls in this business who don’t have any manners whatsoever, Angelina was appreciative. Let me preface this by saying that over the years I’ve had publicists bitch at me because they didn’t like ONE adjective out of a 1,500 feature, stars bitch about where they ranked on our Porn’s Hot 100 let alone making it on there at all, or even some ingrates complain about a retouching oversight in a layout when they were on the cover of the mag and telling everyone and their mother about it. Gimme a fuckin’ break. There’s ways to express disappointment or concern and certain people need to learn how to do so.

Look, I’m not fishing or doing things for Hulk DVDs, flowers, or children named after me. But once in a while a heartfelt thank you is cool — a lot cooler than being bitched out or running your mouth about something like a 6-year-old who didn’t like the Happy Meal toy she got.

I got to know Angelina pretty well over the last couple of months. She was one of the stars who graciously appeared at our Fantasy Island booth at the EXXXOTICA NY show, and due to her Brooklyn roots, we bonded over some East Coast pizza at the show and educated some California folk on how it’s done out in Canarsie.

Anyway, when it came time for her considering signing with D.P. or another company from which she received an offer, Angelina called me and asked for some advice. She’s only been in the business for a few months, so if I could shed some light on anything to help her make her decision I was glad that I could help her out. She’s a cool chick and has a bright future in adult, and she’s very welcome for the little bit I contributed to her decision. Even more important than that, she’s sweet and appreciative and that’s something this world and industry needs more of. And thank you Angelina Armani for YOUR kind gesture. The Hulk rocks and so do you.

(6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

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I was speaking with some friends in the business the other day and something was mentioned about various adult blog sites. When one of us mentioned a certain site, half the group said in almost perfect unison, “Who the hell is that?!”

I have to say that even though it makes this site pretty easy to maintain, I hate fuckin’ WordPress. The platform has pretty much given an open invitation for virtually any given moron to be able to transform into an “adult journalist” overnight. These so-called experts and wannabes publish what they want many times without facts, research, regard, morals or integrity. Many will just hit that little “publish” button hoping breathlessly just to be noticed by someone… anyone.

I’m not going to call out specific names or URLs, not because I’m afraid of retribution or otherwise, but because I don’t even want to give them the satisfaction of a unique visitor, but anyone in the know can read between the lines and come up with at least half a dozen or so who fit the above profile.

What prompted this little rant? Nothing specifically. It’s just that I’m noticing more and more a proliferation of sites and people like this popping up. You go on a site like The Floating World and where there used to be only but a few sites listed, now there’s a plethora, and that isn’t all of them — not even close. Now I know we’re a relative new kid on the blog site block. We’ve only been publishing GenesisOnline for about six months or so now, but the magazine has been in business for over 35 years. We just wanted to do something that could help publicize the folks and give something to the readers who have kept us in business for all of that time. I’m not saying we’re the best, or the biggest, or the total experts. There’s always someone better, bigger and who knows more. That’s life.

We’re not here to print unsubstantiated gossip or vicious rumors, but news. Yes, we go the route of posting press releases that many detest, but that’s a service to the companies and stars that continually support us. Trust me, the extra hits we’ll get from just trying to squeeze in that last keyword tag isn’t worth ruining relationships over. I think we’ll survive without it.

Do you, Mr. New Porn Blogger, really think anyone gives a rat’s ass about seeing your goofy ass in pictures hobnobbing with Chatsworth’s finest? Who in fuck’s sake are you? Or how about you, Ms. Soap Box, giving your two cents on personal situations you shouldn’t be saying jack shit about. Do you know anything about the person you just trashed for nothing?

Who’s to blame? WordPress for making it so damn easy? Al Gore for inventing the Internet? All of us for including them on our “press” or guest lists? Publicity is nice. I understand that, but do yourselves and the industry a favor and in the immortal words of Nancy Reagan, “Just say no.” It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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I love the NightMoves Awards Weekend in Tampa. Paul and Tracy Allen are great people, and it’s the perfect place and atmosphere to strengthen business relationships, or to meet new stars to shoot and/or interview for the mag. One of my favorite things is that there’s always something that ends up being the stuff of which perpetual ridicule is made of.

Here are what I think were the top five funny moments from this year’s Tampa Show…

Tommy Gunn Ends Up in Orlando
I briefly touched upon this in my opening blog from the show, but it’s so funny I can’t resist talking about it further. Let me preface this with to know Tommy is to love Tommy. His version of the story is that he had connecting flights, but the flight attendant told him he didn’t have to change planes in Albuquerque. So instead of switching and going to Tampa, he ended up landing in Orlando. Luckily it’s only about an hour from Tampa and he wasn’t in some godforsaken place like Boston, so Tommy just rented a car and drove to Tampa. What we all wondered is how did he not realize he was in Orlando or headed to the wrong place until about 30 minutes after he was wandering around the airport there looking for his ride.

Tommy Gunn Honorable Mention: Accepting the First Choice Award for Pirates II in his Victor Stagnetti pirate voice. Arghhh.

“Shoeless” Ron Jeremy
No, he wasn’t a member of Chicago Black Sox, even though he might be old enough. Each night after everyone returns from the club appearances there’s usually some sort of late night gathering at the hotel’s pool, which they close off, to the general public. Every year there is bound to be a Hedgehog sighting in the pool, even if no one else goes for a late night dip. During Ron’s wee morning swim this year someone allegedly made off with the legend’s legendary Crocs. This would be no big deal, except for what follows. If you know Ron, he’s always wearing the damn things, and they were the only source of footwear he brought to Tampa with him. His flight was also the next morning. Now Ron had to go to the airport sans Crocs. We can see the flight attendants now. “Look! It’s Ron Jeremy… And he’s shoeless.” Poor Ron.

Newsflash… This just in… Sunny Lane has Ron’s shoes. Poor Sunny.

Mr. Pete Does Not Know How to Use a Gun
During the weekend, Stormy Daniels shot some scenes for her newest Wicked movie, Whack Job. During a non-sex scene (shameless plug: which I was in and more on that later), the cast of “mobsters” were given realistic prop guns to draw at an intruder. During rehearsals, Mr. Pete couldn’t figure out how to cock it, was caught looking down the barrel of the gun. He also accidentally pushed the button to release the clip, which fell out. Hardcore performer he is. Hardcore gangsta he is not.

Lexi Lamour Steals the Penguin’s Hat
File this under irony of sorts. Tony Batman was emceeing the Awards Show. Tony Batman was wearing a top hat. Tony Batman, all 5’6” of him, looked like the Penguin instead of the Caped Crusader with said top hat. When Ethan Cage and Lexi Lamour went up to present, Lexi stole the hat, then gave it back to him announcing on stage, “Here’s your hat, Penguin.” Honorable Mention: Ethan’s “The plane! The plane!” exit.

Bree Olson Pole Dances and Shows Her Pussy
During the Awards Show, which was held at a country music club, the band was playing on stage. Bree Olson, who was backstage in the green room awaiting to present, asked Tracy Allen if she could go up and dance on stage. Tracy, thinking this could be harmless and a nice treat for the fans to see and they would love it, said yes. Good idea, right? Wrong! We’re talking about Bree. With Bree, anything is possible, including swinging on the stripper pole, that was front and center, in a PG rated club, wearing no panties. Tracy was right. The fans did love it. The club’s management? Not so much.

(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Before becoming a card carrying member of the porn industry, I worked in the mainstream entertainment world for both the artists/production companies and the media. It was well known within that world that you had to make a mark to get noticed.

In the music biz, at least at that time, there were thousands of album releases a year. When I was an editor for music publications, I would get at least 20 or so CDs in the mail a day that were submitted for review. So which made it to the top of the heap? Well, of course we all knew we had to get that new Metallica or U2 album in as soon as possible since they were so high-profile. But then you had the rest of the music world who weren’t superstars trying to get the attention of folks like me and get their disc not only moved to the top of the pile, but also start the review off on a good note. One way a lot of these companies or bands would do this is by putting together some sort of kick ass press kit filled with related swag to the band or album title.

Here it is about 15 or so years later and I completely remember some of the bands who did this. Punk band NOFX released an album called Heavy Petting Zoo and decided to put an inflatable sheep in with their disc. Useful, well, no. Funny? Yes. The Ramones had custom mini bottle of tequila for Adios Amigos. That was useful if you chose to open it. I had packages from an indie metal band with a bong (bio organic natural growth system), I mean, “planter,” in it. A local band called Mars Needs Women included some vintage flying saucer toy and a ray gun to get themselves noticed and reviewed. There were special edition shirts, hats, etc.

So why am I boring you with stories of the music business and the good old days? Well, there are couple of porn companies who employ the same strategy to get their stuff noticed. Adam and Eve have done this in the past with releases such as Eden, Carolina Jones, Tailgunners and Lady Scarface. One company who consistently comes up with great promo packages is Wicked Pictures. The stuff for Operation Desert Stormy and Coming Home last year was way cool with spy glasses, ammo boxes, mirrors, and the obligatory shirts and hats. Now they have their two biggest releases of this year, The Wicked and Fallen, and have come up with their most innovative and coolest packages yet.

For Michael Raven’s film The Wicked, just releasing a really killer movie starring Kaylani Lei and Stormy Daniels was enough to get it noticed. But Wicked decided to spend a bunch of money in this lovely economy to make sure this movie got the credit it deserved. In the promo package for the movie was a blood-filled mousepad, beanie, T-shirt, candy, bag of blood and of course the movie itself. But the most impressive thing with this package is the full-color box it all came in.

The same promo box was used to promote Brad Armstrong’s 100th movie for Wicked, Fallen, starring jessica drake. The movie has been the subject of much hype. We previewed a trailer for it back in June at the F.A.M.E. Awards, and knew this was going to be a great movie. In this package was a candle with the box cover image on it, a lucky coin, embroidered hat, T-shirt, feathers, and the packaging for the movie itself is one of the best ever made in adult.

So for obviously BIG movies, why spend BIG bucks to make sure it gets reviewed. If I had to guess these promo boxes cost about $50 bucks each, and who knows what the actual boxes they came in cost. Times that by about the 300 or so they give out per movie, and you’re talking a lot of extra duckets on movies that had big budgets to produce. So why? Who better to answer than the BIG man over a Wicked, owner Steve Orenstein.

I called Steve and asked him who comes up with the concepts of their promo boxes for movies, and he told me it’s really a joint effort between their directors, art department, publicity and sales people and of course, himself.

“There are a lot of products out there and we want people to know — reviewers, buyers and customers — that there’s something special about these movies. That’s first and foremost,” Orenstein told me. In a cookie cutter day where gonzo and all-sex movies are cheaper and flooding the market, Wicked is one of the few companies who still produce primarilly feature films. Those cost lots more money, and spending extra money on things such as promo and packaging isn’t the popular choice in adult these days, but don’t tell Orenstein that.

“In this economy it’s probably not the way to do it. We spent more on trying to promote these movies than we have in the past. The boxes themselves probably cost more than the stuff in them, but we wanted to show the customers who think everything is created equal, isn’t.” And what about the unique box for Fallen? What if it doesn’t fit on some store shelves? Wicked is banking on retailers creating special displays for it, or end caps, or putting it on the top shelf where there’s more room. “The top shelf has no boundaries,” Orenstein says. “We’ve received more calls on these movies because of the promo from retailers and buyers, and even some of the other movie companies out there. Hey, I could have saved the money for retirement or spend it on giveaways… maybe I made the wrong choice,” Orenstein joked. We don’t think he did.

So you’re not a buyer or reviewer, but we’re going to treat you like one. Two random readers who email editor@genesismagazine.com will get one of these cool as fuck promo packs courtesy of Wicked Pictures, as long as you’re over 18 and can get this sort of thing in your neck of the woods, of course. Email your name, address and tell us which one you like better and we’ll put you in consideration for it.

(3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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I’m somewhat excited to watch the ExliteXC fights that are on tonight. I’ll be amazed if the Shamrock/Kimbo fight is anything great. I think Gina Carano’s fight will probaby be one of the better ones on the card. The girls usually are in there to beat some bitch ass.

Anyway, it got me thinking, who is/are porn’s toughest chick(s)? I know a bunch of stars obviously, and there are some that I know can and will kick some ass.  There was a certain contract star who knocked some girl’s tooth out in Florida a couple of years ago. I know some girls know martial arts, and there are some who are just so fuckin’ crazy they would easily cut your ass. There was infamous cat fight during Cousin Stevie’s Pussy Party a while back…

We want to know who you guys think the toughest girl in porn is? Who would Chuck Norris make babies with that would be able to conquer Luxemborg or some shit like that? Wait, that was stupid. Chuck could do that by himself, but you get my point.

Tell us who you think is biggest bad ass babe in XXX. Either submit a comment or email editor@genesismagazine.com. We’ll take one of you guys at random and send you some random smut.

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Not that this is porn related or anything, but it’s my blog and I can do what I want.

As a Yankee fan, you can’t help but dig Jason Giambi these days. First he rocks the pornstache and starts hitting. Then, I’m watching last night’s game and swore he flipped off Orioles second baseman, the always annoying Brian Roberts, after he hit a single over the midget’s head in shallow right.

If you don’t know anything about baseball, opposing teams put on the “Giambi Shift” where they play the lefty hitter to pull down the first base side. They overload that side with fielders and stick the second baseman in short right field.

Now a Giambi without the pornstache would simply ground out, but the furry lipped first baseman hit it between Roberts and the right fielder. As he rounded first, he decided to give them a little message.

Click the pic to see the YouTube vid.

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From the 80s tinted mind of Craig Valentine, comes yet another action-packed press release about his NRPW wrestling extravaganza. I must admit that I’m actually starting to look forward to these. I only ask, why Evan and Tommy, why? I should watch my tone, though. I don’t want to find myself in a steel-cage grudge match challenge for the WTF cares title.

At the NRPW matchup in Bakersfield this weekend, several adult and wrestling stars took major beatings!

The night started out beautifully, with radio host and porn star Nikki Hunter singing the National Anthem a cappella… but it turned into a bloodbath — FAST!

Craig Valentine ended up regaining his previously lost X-Rated Champion title – against the same foe he originally lost the belt to! That’s right, the previously immortal Evan Stone was defeated by Valentine after a skull-ripping fight. “I got my belt back,” dishes Valentine!

During the Stone/Valentine clash, adult megastar Tommy Gunn jumped onto the mat, trying to stir things up (and failing miserably at it, before getting tossed out of the ring, literally). At one point, Evan’s shield proved stronger than steel against flesh and bone. “He busted my head open,” says Valentine, who didn’t mind being ‘nursed’ back to health by adult star Brooke Belle, however. Bruised, banged up and bleeding, Valentine persevered until he eventually won the match.

But check this out: moments later, in a massive pile-up in the ring, Stone ended up the victor in the Heavyweight division!

How did such madness ensue? Well, it started with Valentine (as head of the League) approving a literal ‘rumble in the ring’ – in which he started a basic free-for-all among 20 men! Every 45 seconds a new fighter came under the ropes huffing and puffing! In one incident, Tommy Gunn got powerslammed over the top of the ropes (that’s gonna leave a mark!). And in the end, Sean Casey and Buff Bagwell tried to clothesline Evan, but they missed, leaving Stone the last man standing (and the victor!).

“The worst wrestler in the world is now the Heavyweight Champion,” screamed Valentine, crying foul. “This is such crap!”

Bull Buchanan won his match, as did others on the wrestling card, too. In addition, Nick Manning swindled his way into the venue – The Bakersfield Dome – by trading 8×10 inch glossies of himself for seats to the big event. Once Valentine saw him sitting down, he opened up the ropes in the ring for Manning to ‘prove himself.’ Ever the talker and never the man of action, Manning backed down from Valentine’s veiled threat and sat down without incident.

The next NRPW taping is scheduled for the Dome, in September; more details to follow! Don’t forget – the wrestling shows do not have sex or nudity…that’s saved for later, in more private settings! (After Bull’s match, Monica Mayhem promised him “the best sex scene of his life.” Only time will tell what Ms. Mayhem means by that!)

The first NRPW release – the extended-length Not Rated Professional Wrestling DVD, came out July 17th.

(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

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AskMen.com just released the results of their 2008 Great Male Survey—a six-week poll that asked over 75,000 participants more than 150 frank and intimate questions about their personal, romantic and professional lives.

Some of the sexual answers were interesting, such as 80% get their porn online, as opposed to only 8% who get it from movies at home. 11% claim they don’t do the porn thing, but they’re probably the same exact 11% lying fuckers who also claim they don’t jerk off. Of those who do rub one out, 63% said they do it to XXX.

As far as their ideal girls go, 43% like them to be shaved, while another 41% are okay with a neat and trimmed bush and 9% couldn’t give a shit.

On the boob front, about 46% prefer C-cups, 14% like ’em bigger, and 22% “claim” the boobs don’t matter.

One question we found interesting was:

What the fuck is the “other?”

See the complete survey over at askmen.com.

(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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There’s been a bit of controversy stirred up by none other than our little hillbilly pal down in Georgia, Mike South. He posted a blog yesterday talking about porn stars not writing their own columns. Here’s what South had to say:

Now we have publicists though who write what are really press releases and advertisements in the name of their contract girls, I have yet to read Bree Olsen’s column in Genesis Magazine but I will bet my last dollar she doesn’t write a word of it, Ditto columns written under Jesse Janes name, let’s be honest here if these pornchicks could write they wouldn’t be porn chicks.

This comment from Mike stemmed a retort of sorts (if you can call it that) over at LukeFord.com where the “if I get on a chair and scream in WordPress setting for ‘Heading 1,’ someone might hear me” blogger at that site, Ryan Rayzer, had this to say:

Why is Mike South calling Jesse Jane a fraud? How does he know she doesn’t write her own shit? And even if she doesn’t, why call her out on it? What’s he have against her to try and harm her reputation? Same with Bree Olson? But here is the best line of them all from his little rant ….

let’s be honest here if these pornchicks could write they wouldn’t be porn chicks

That line speaks volumes about his feelings towards the women in this industry and it’s to bad really because I’ve met some smart ass bitches in this business that have no problem writing their own shit.

Guess what Rayzer, you just called them “bitches.” That’s a real compliment! Don’t worry, though. I promise, I won’t call you stupid, Ryan.

AND LukeIsBack.com’s Darrah Ford (is she married to Luke? lol), who guests there from PornStarBabylon, also put in her two cents on the subject and contacted us for a quote from Bree about her writing prowess.

First, let me say that by no means are these girls stupid. They’re both intelligent and anyone would see that if they spent a few minutes speaking with them in a reality setting. Porn in general has a lot of intelligent women in it. I would say the ratio I have encountered who are smart versus the dumb ones isn’t any worse than any other profession. Hell, I think the majority are smarter than most in other facets of the industry.

Now to set the record straight on the main subject at hand, and that is, “do porn stars write their own columns?” I know that if you read either of these diatribes on the twin “Luke” sites, you wouldn’t be able to tell that’s what the issue was, but let’s get back to the heart of the matter.

The answer is, at least with the publications I head up, mostly a yes. I’ll explain, so stick with me here. For the columns, I will go on record and tell you that for the most part, the girls in these magazines do write and/or contribute to their own columns. Do they write 100% of what you see? Some do. Is what you see in print verbatim from what they have submitted? Some or most. Stormy as an example is a very accomplished writer. She writes the screenplays for many of Wicked’s movies. Jenna Haze is answering the questions posed to her in our advice column in her own words. Tera submits her columns via her personal email. She might have an assistant or someone type as she dictates, but they are her thoughts and words. Bree might not totally write her column, but she helped develop the original concept, and they are her fantasies coming to life with her thoughts and ideas in them as relayed to the write. And I can honestly tell you that Jesse Jane has sat there for countless hours in front of her computer and written various things that have appeared in our publications over the years.

We, and I mean that as anyone working within the adult industry, sell fantasy. It’s the nature of the biz. How many guys are convincing their girlfriends to perform a DP? How many couples are jetting off to a tropical paradise and having sex under a waterfall with a beautiful girl like Jesse Jane or Tera Patrick? How many 50-year-old men are bedding down a barely legal girl like Bree Olson? Getting facials or anal?

Porn is fuckin’ fantasy people, so why try to explain it? Do you watch a movie like Girls Taking it Up the Ass #194 and say, “Wait a second? I didn’t see her do an enema or say ‘ouch’ or ‘take it easy’ once before she took an eight inch cock in her ass!” It’s fuckin’ fantasy people. If you do, you’re also probably one of those guys that sit behind me during a Superman movie and ask why he didn’t just wear a lead suit so he can be totally impervious to Kryptonite. You’re also then one of those guys I want to elbow right in the grill.

How many guys jerked off to a “Forum” letter? Did you wonder while you were strokin’ it that maybe some 6′5″, 240 lb., goateed and tattooed, 40-year-old ugly mutha wrote the damn thing or did the 5′5″, 110 lb., cute, girl next door who is 19 years old and has a shaved smooth pussy who got willingly double teamed in the dorm really write it? Some questions are best left unanswered. The other question would be that if choice “A” wrote it, are you gay because you came? But that’s a whole other debate

I went off on a bit of a rant, but let’s get back to the main question here. In the past we have had porn star columnists that have included Taylor Wane, Houston, Jasmin St. Claire and Carmen Luvana. We presently have Tera Patrick, Bree Olson, Jenna Haze and Gina Lynn contributing to Genesis and Stormy Daniels in Velvet. I also want to mention that girls like Jesse Jane, Joanna Angel, Sunny Lane and others have contributed stories/articles/whatever in the past as well.

These same concepts apply to a biography. Yes, people use ghost writers, but is it less them because they used a different adjective to describe something? Are they “stupid” because maybe someone else put their ideas and experiences on paper? That’s a resounding “no.” If a star does an interview for a mag, but she didn’t type it out, is it less her? Is it less her that a writer put it into a narrative form, rather a question or answer format? Politicians, athletes, celebrities, etc. have speech writers for press conference statements or quotes in releases and bios. Their message is getting across regardless of who wrote them.

We have used tons of contributing writers over the years from various walks of life for various written works — porn stars, housewives, moonlighting comedians and accountants, and “writers” with masters degrees from major universities in English. I can’t remember one of them that didn’t go to a copy editor and come back untouched for both content and grammatical corrections.

So to sum all this up, yes they write their own columns in some way, shape or form, at least in my mags.

(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

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This is an actual letter from a woman that a Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine hygiene product, Always Maxi Pads. She got a bit upset about something and wanted to let one of the execs over there know about. This letter recently won PC Magazine’s Editor’s Choice for best e-mail. I think everyone—male and female—will definitely be able to relate here.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dry-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsadancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, cryingjags, and out-of-control behavior.

You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought “Grey’s Anatomy” was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants.

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’

Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin andKahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to Slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

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The faint aroma of stale cigarettes and feminine body lotion drifted up my nose as I as I walked through the dimly lit hall. It was Friday night and I was at the Northern Club in Fargo. I nervously peered through the red velvet curtain and stole a peek at the growing crowd around the stage; they were there to see me. I was the Featured Dancer this weekend. Meaning the club brought me out here as a draw. That nervous feeling intensified but at the same time it kinda felt exciting.

I took one last look at myself in the dusty mirror to make sure that everything is in place. Then, I took a deep breath, paused and stepped out onstage. The sharp guitar chords of Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” echoed though the hall as I strutted across the stage in a teensy-weensy plaid skirt while blowing huge pink bubbles with my gum. I played it up as much as I could, I had to be larger than life, that’s what they paid to see, that’s what they want.

Here goes twenty minutes of being the absolute center of attention. As I paraded around in my schoolgirl set, I silently thought to myself: “Please don’t fall on your ass!” But I got over my anxiety quickly. Dancing onstage is so exhilarating. It is such a sexy, yet graceful feeling to have vibrant lights shine upon your body and to move seductively to the music. And it’s so much fun! It’s an empowering feeling walking off the stage knowing you left them wanting more.

I walked thru the curtains to the back. But now, I was naked. It almost like I put on all these elements to become “Gianna Lynn” and go out there, peel them off, then in the end I’m left with nothing on…I’m just myself, while everything that was “Gianna Lynn” is left on stage. …Argh, this is too deep, I think I want fudgesicle.

(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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