Kayden Kross

Adam & Eve contract star has been the subject of many blogs, and many of them have had something to do — be it fallout or otherwise — because of an assumed relationship with a certain Nobody. She recently tackled the subject in her official blog at unkrossed.com where she writes:

That gets me to the point of this blog. I’ve taken a lot of crap for my association with Mike South. We were originally put in touch because of his ties to Adam and Eve at the time and my interest in a contract with them. During the interview process we talked a lot and it turned into a weird friendship. I knew nothing about his blog or who he was in the industry. The only thing I knew was that he was immediately helpful when I was a complete stranger and has been available to talk 24 hours a day ever since, and especially when I’ve needed someone to talk to most. He has never been on my payroll or held any official title with me, there has never been anything sexual between us, but he has always been there to talk me through everything from the most serious and personal to the most useless and random. Months after my contract with Adam and Eve was in place he invited me to write for his site and I was happy to. That’s when I learned that it’s best not to hold public opinions.

The thing I didn’t expect is that I would start being tied to everything that ended up on his site whether I was aware that it was even posted or not, much less whether I agreed or not. I have tried to make a passive effort at distancing myself from his blog because of this. I do not write for it. I do not have an affiliate link from it and generally I try not to read it or any industry sites for that matter. Mike and I have had screaming matches over this issue but there is no simple resolution. Either I have a public association with MikeSouth.com and deal with the consequences of that or I don’t. I do not want to deal with the consequences of other people’s opinions. It has nothing to do with my feelings about that person or anyone else. I just don’t want to answer for things I have no control over. It’s hard not to laugh when people think I’m somehow Mike’s puppet master. He was posting controversial blogs long before I came along and he will be doing so long after I’m gone. He’s had good relationships with people and he’s had bad relationships with people and regardless of their standing with him he’s never been someone you can control and I am one on a long list of people who can attest to that.

“Nobody” has a unique way of trying to make himself look better at the expense of others. Just this past weekend there was what looked like a post from Kayden on his site, but it was actually a blog copied and pasted from her unkrossed.com site. Something must’ve happened because shortly thereafter it was off of his site. Was posting this an effort of damage control? In my opinion, I think so.

The bottom line here is that Kayden has now set the record straight that she has no professional ties to “Nobody,” no longer writes for his site, and has learned some things along the way. Hopefully she’s learned (as I already have) what kind of person Nobody is deep down and the second you don’t agree with him or call him out on his bullshit, the tables turn rather quickly and nothing is sacred. Friendship and “family” goes right out the window for the sake of repairing a bruised ego or gaining 24 extra hits to a free website.

I know I personally wish her the best in achieving her goals, and hosting the AVN Awards is a step in that direction. To read the full blog from Kayden, head over to unkrossed.com.

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The scorching hot and ultra sexy adult star Dylan Ryder has been a busy girl, spending a couple of days this week working on a new movie for Wicked Pictures titled Mad Love. The popular beauty is featured  in the movie along with Wicked contract superstar Kaylani Lei, Rocco Reed and others. Dylan was ‘tweeting’ photos from the set giving fans a small glimpse of what’s to come. No stranger to delivering a hot sex scene and dynamic performance, Dylan goes even further in this feature as she is said to have a lot of dialogue. Mad Love could be a launch for Ryder into doing more dialogue heavy big features.
For more on what Dylan is currently up to, you can follow her on Twitter by following this link: http://twitter.com/dylanryderxxx
…and to see the real good stuff log on to her official website DylanRyder.com for exclusive video (by video I mean hardcore sex vids) and more!

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This is an open letter from Miss Penny Flame:

As long as I’ve been performing in the adult industry, I’ve wanted to host the AVN awards show. I feel like being host is the maximum honor for being the maximum slut, something I feel I’ve accomplished throughout my years as a Porn Star.

And I’ve never understood how the host choice is made, so I said “fuck it” and decided that since our entire country is “hoping for change” I will change the format and petition with hope, starting with my website, http://www.Vote4Penny.com. Starting at the beginning  of January, I’ve carried my petition to every set I’ve worked on, every company I am close with, and will continue to do so until the end of the year,{or until AVN tells me to “cut that shit out, fine Penny Flame, you can host it.”}

I will be holding peaceful rally’s throughout the year, and taking many 2009 AVN winners hostage, in effort to flex my muscle. You can look forward to some exciting things from me, and hopefully, from next years AVN award show.

Penny Flame
http://www.Vote4Penny.com

For the record, I think Penny is one of the funniest and most charasmatic girls in the biz and would make a fine, fine host. Write my name down Flamester!

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Oh, that wretched holiday is dawning upon us. This conspiracy theory disguised as a holiday of expressing one’s love truly is a money-making scheme that is fast approaching in a few days. Let’s face it. It’s a no-win situation. It’s a reminder to those who are single about their relationship status and it forces those who are under awkward pressure to participate in the sappy ritual of exchanging candy, roses, and crappy cards. Blech. Personally, I put more value into being told that I’m loved on a random Tuesday or when I receive flowers from someone “just because” or when someone calls out of the blue to see how I am. It’s occurrences like these that remind me that I’m loved, not some card from Hallmark specifically marked for February 14th.

In my opinion, celebrating this holiday is a sign of conformity to corporate America. According to recent statistics of the National Retail Federation, Americans are expected to spend $14.7 billion on Valentine’s Day this year. Are you going to be one of those suckers?

Allow me to share one of my favorite love poems I grew fond of in junior high school. Of course, that was an awkward time when I used to adorn my Algebra book with Marilyn Manson stickers, paint my nails black, and claim to be Wiccan because I had no friends to hang out with at lunchtime. However, I found solace in the school library amongst of my favorite authors: Stephen King, and my all-time fave, Edgar Allen Poe.

For this special occasion I’d like to share one of my favorite love stories, “Annabelle Lee” by the romantic Mr. Poe. How does this poem apply to Valentine’s Day? Because the character’s ultimate morbid devotion to his dead lover beats those cheesy love poems imprinted on cheap cards.

Annabelle Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulcher
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me
Yes! that was the reason
(as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we
Of many far wiser than we
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In the sepulcher there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Now there’s commitment for you! Any poor conformist that believes flowers, hearts, and candy given on this single day is collected recognition of true love or, much worse, atonement for the past year’s sins and wrongdoings should take a hint from Mr. Poe. His definition of love is certainly not to be taken lightly if he seems to think that lying by one’s dead lover every night is commitment. Write that on a greeting card!

Well, I hope you all have a terrific February 14th! If you’re down by El Paso, Texas, come by and say hi to me at the Red Parrot located at 14401 Gateway Blvd West. The club’s number is (915) 852-2181. We can discuss more poetry and acts of conformity in between my stage shows.

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This Friday the remake of Friday the 13th hits the screens at theaters everywhere. If you have been reading this column (and you should be!) you’ll know that I’m a great big huge horror fan. Yeah, I collect horror DVDs and shoes — lots and lots of shoes. So, anyway, in anticipation of the upcoming new Jason, I wanna take a look at the overall series (I’ll spare showing you my shoes… for now). Allow me to present to you The Armani Watch’s Friday The 13th Top Six…

Friday the 13th

This is the one that started it all. A legend is going around Camp Crystal Lake that several years ago a child drowned due to the negligence of the camp counselors who were too busy boning. The legend continues that the counselors were massacred by the boy who returned from the dead BUT is it a legend??? The current Camp Counselors think so, until they start getting chopped up.  Watch out for the twist ending that will knock your socks (or panties) off!

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Jason finally gets his, but good in this 4th installment. He’s racked up several numbers on his killing spree and has been unstoppable, until now.  In the movie’s climax the form of a shaved headed 12-year-old Corey Feldman (you have to see the movie to get it) fucks with Jason’s Head (and mine) long enough for him to be taken down. It was supposed to be the end of our hockey mask wearing bad boy, but not even a hatchet to the head can stop him LOL.

Freddy vs. Jason

Okay, I’m not gonna lie. Just the thought of these two bad boys in the same room gets me all tingly in the panties. It’s a clash of the titans when these two horror icons come to blows (and chops). Freddy gets off of Elm Street and a blood bath ensues when he wakes a sleeping Jason. It’s definitely a fun ride and a keeper for the DVD collection.  I’m still waiting for a round two!

Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

After the misstep that was called Part Five, this sixth installment gets us back to the real Mr. Voorhees and Camp Crystal Lake. Jason has been dead and buried after the events of the fourth movie, but he’s resurrected by a bolt of lightning. Oh, if only it were that easy. Now, if you thought killing this guy was tough before, this “zombie” Jason is damn near impossible.

Friday the 13th: The New Blood

Before Freddy stepped in to fight him, Jason had never met his match until this 7th installment when Mr. Voorhees goes up against a chick with telekinesis powers.  I heard a rumor that the character, Tina, was originally supposed to be Carrie (from the movie of the same name). Now how bad ass would that have been? Our hockey-masked hatchet murderer vs. the pig blood covered prom queen. *Le’ sigh* but that’s me just dreamin’.

Friday the 13th Part 2

Jason was only seen briefly at the end of the first movie, this time around the movie is all him and boy, is he pissed.  At the climax of the first movie Jason’s momma gets beheaded (ouch) and now he is out for…blood. (HA!) Though he doesn’t wear his trademark mask (he doesn’t get that until Part 3) F13 Pt.2 is filled with thrills and scares

Okay, there ya go for this week’s look at some super cool movies. Next week I’ll bring back a review for the new Friday the 13th!

Armani Watch Rating: 13A’s… ‘cause I can!

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

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In this week’s installment of “The Armani Watch,” I’m talking to you about two movies that I just watched.  While doing my usual shopping on Melrose (‘cause I need more clothes), I decided to roll over to Amoeba on Sunset to pick up a couple of DVDs. Two very random and very different DVDs caught my eye.

Now let me preface this by saying that there are two kinds of bad movies. Some are so bad they’re good, like low budget flicks. The other bad are ones that just plain suck…

Comic Book Villains (2002)

Holy Shit! This movie sucked, and not in a good way like I do. I like superheroes and comic books (Shhh! Don’t tell anyone I’m a geek like that!), so it was with great enthusiasm that I picked up this DVD. But this movie could not decide if it wanted to be funny or dramatic, which it ended up being neither.

The plot about two competing comic book shops who are both trying to land a recently deceased collector’s comic gold mine went way out to left field and quickly delved into nonsense. This should have been better because the cast is pretty good — Cary Elwes, Donal Logue, D.J. Qualls, Michael Rapaport, Natasha Lyonne, Danny Masterson.

The acting was just ok. I can’t blame the actors, though. They really did not have anything to work with. It was all very convoluted. As much as this movie attempted to play to the comic book lovin’ crowd, the tacked on message at the end to “experience life outside of the Marvel and DC universe” was a slap in the face for any fan boy (or girl) that put up with this drivel for the last 92 minutes.

UGH. I mentally organized my show collection because I was so bored with this bomb. See what I go through for you guys? I sit through mind-numbing crap, so you don’t have to.

Black Water (2007)

I really, really liked this movie! This low-budget little thriller about a small tourist group who gets terrorized by a giant crocodile while stranded in the swamps of Northern Australia may at first seem like a “croc” of shit get it?!). But it was actually pretty entertaining, albeit in a mindless, silly way.

It took the “Jaws” approach and went with “less is more” so we didn’t see the crocodile too much, instead relying on  the hint of horror that was lurking.

It’s based on a true story, which means I’m staying out of the fucking swamps. But then again, when would you ever catch me and my Coach shoes trampling along the murky swamps down under? LOL! Like I said not a bad effort, and real low budget fun.

So what do we have? Avoid Comic Book Villains like the fucking plague, and check out Black Water when you want something on during a night of insomnia.

Do you have any recommendations for me that you want me to check out for both my viewing pleasure and “The Armani Watch?” And no. You don’t need to be sending me your homemade sex videos. Drop me a line here and let me know.

Armani Watch Ratings: 1/2 A and AAA

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Angelina Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com © 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

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Bree Olson sent this to me and had to get you all to see it. I thought it was f’n hysterical. Then again, Bree is f’n hysterical…

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.  After it was graded and the child brought it home from the teacher, she returned to school the next day with the following note for the teacher…

Dear Ms. D.,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration.  It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint.  I work at [a hardware store] and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.  This photo is of me selling a shovel.

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Hey there all of you sexy guys and girls. In case you don’t know me, I’m Angelina Armani™, Digital Playground’s newest contract star and I’d like to welcome you to “The Armani Watch.”

If there’s one thing I love almost as much as sex, it’s sitting down and watching a really good movie. I try to get to the theater on a pretty regular basis, and when I’m not shooting scorching hot sex scenes, I’m at home thinking about sex while watching a DVD. I can watch just about any type of movie — action, comedy, animated, romance, drama, horror. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s good, entertaining and a temporary escape from reality.  But the reality is that not every movie out there is good. Just like sexual partners, sometimes you get a real lame one that loses your attention really quick. I know we’ve all had that problem in life, and wouldn’t it have been much better if someone, anyone, could have warned you in advance? Well that’s what I’m going to do here. I’m going to pass on my opinions about what to watch and what to avoid like a really bad lay! So sit down and check out “The Armani Watch”…

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Last week I reviewed the special edition DVD of My Bloody Valentine in preparation for the big release last week in theaters of a remake in 3-D. I also said that I would let you know the deal on the new one and if it lived up to the hype, and all I can say is, “Wow!”

I had a blast watching My Bloody Valentine 3-D! It’s about damn time a horror movie came out and rocked the house…this one did just that.  This is a rare occasion where the re-make surpasses the original, and if you read my review last week, you know I really, really liked that one, too! So, anyway. It was with great enthusiasm that I headed out to Sherman Oaks to view this movie.

An accident in a mine shaft sets things off, as lone survivor Harry Warden kills his co-workers then falls into a coma. A year later he wakes up to begin a Valentine’s Day slaughter. Killing off a bunch of kids partyin it up at the mine, almost putting a pick axe through the head of the kid who caused the accident the year before. But the cops come and save the kid’s life by shooting Harry, who runs off into the mine.

Fast forward ten years later and the killer returns to cause havoc and mayhem once again on Valentine’s Day. The movie takes a major twist as it is revealed that Harry was killed by the cops during the events a decade ago, so that leaves the burning question….who the hell is the killer??? And if it’s not Harry, then WHY is someone doing the killing? Dun dun dun!

I’m telling ya, the movie was a rollercoaster ride of fun, only borrowing certain plot points from the original, but still being faithful to its spirit. Ya herd.

The 3-D part really worked well. You could almost feel the swinging pick axe right above your head! It was so real I had to check to see if there was blood splattered all over me after I left the theater, because that would be kinda cool. Yeah, I had to wear some great big huge glasses, but if you have seen my sunglasses you know that’s how I roll. LOL.

SO go check it out! Hell, I might just go with ya to see it again!

Armani Watch Rating: AAAA 1/2

Get your copy of The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak.

Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Check out more of me at my official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check me out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

Photos of movie courtesy of Lions Gate

© 2009 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

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I’ve never seen a movie, pornographic or otherwise, as disturbing as “Kids”. It was released in 1995 by Shining Excalibur Pictures, an independent distribution company created by Miramax Films’ Bob and Harvey Weinstein for the sole purpose of distributing this movie due to the disapproval of Disney, Miramax’s parent company, had with its NC-17 rating in the United States. The movie’s only known stars are young Chloe Sevigny and Rosario Dawson. I have never seen this movie before.

Knowing the infamous reputation preceding it, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to rent it via Blockbuster Online. To my pleasant surprise, I found the DVD tucked away snugly in a mess of assorted junk mail just a few days later. What a perfect treat to come home to after a tumultuous whirlwind of craziness the porn industry knows as AEE in good ol’ Las Vegas.

I throw my suitcases on the ground, not bothering to unpack them, and take a quick shower. I pop the movie in the DVD player and get settled underneath the covers, not anticipating the jaw-dropping mess that awaits my eyes.

It immediately begins with two prepubescent-looking “kids” madly making out in a setting which would easily befit a scene from a “young girl” porno series. Except the only difference is that the real scenario which the movie depicted doesn’t involve AIM tests or dated model releases. Anyhow, the freckly boy with a protruding under bite gently strokes the innocent doe-eyed girl’s cheek and woos her with enough convincing empty promises that he’s able to take off her colorful boy-cut panties and deflower that innocence. At that point, my memory unleashed a flurry of past heart-to-heart talks and words of wisdom that others had tried to bestow upon my peers and myself when I was younger; “Wait till you find someone special”, “Boys just want one thing”, “You can’t take back your virginity” — words I thankfully took some heed of, as I ended up not regretting losing my virginity to the person I lost it to. But I wanted to scream those same words of wisdom to that poor girl on my television set (although realistically I’d be screaming at a girl who would be like 31, since this movie was released in 1995), especially when that pasty little brat who accomplished his initial mission started raving about his recent exploits to another presumed fellow delinquent.

From an outsider’s perspective, these kids looked about the right age to be donned in crisp brown uniforms and accumulating merit patches for their sashes. Instead, they were parading around the dirty streets of New York dressed in oversized skate attire and using the foul vocabulary of a rusty sailor. The female characters in the movie were no exception. They were talking and giggling amongst themselves in what looked like could be another setting of a “young girl” porn series (maybe this time a younger lesbian series) and exchanging sexual stories that made me, someone who’s been actively involved in the fucking porn industry for four years, blush uncomfortably in my dumbfounded state of shock. The movie then continued to illustrate the lives of these teens as they went through their daily ventures, some of which included stealing liquor from corner stores, outright disrespecting and using filthy language towards elders, and beating up a confrontational thug to a bloody pulp in the middle of a park. I don’t want to give away most of the movie, but obviously this movie’s purpose was to intentionally prompt viewers to never underestimate “kids” and maybe even to second guess when “kids” say: “Oh, we’re just hanging out.”

One thing I do appreciate about this film is the way it was shot documentary style. It looked as though it were shown from the kid’s point of view. I did like the camera angles, and I thought that the lighting added to the reality that, I believe, the director was trying to portray. It had the perfect amount of tension to depict the seriousness of each character’s dilemma. I liked how it was hard to guess the “kid’s” (I shudder to use that word) exact ages despite them being portrayed as so young. The script was delivered in such a way that it was gritty and realistic, so much so that viewers could see this happening in REAL LIFE!!!

It is safe to say I didn’t drift off to sleep that night reminiscing of the fun times I just had in Vegas. Instead, traumatizing thoughts of these untamed kids running wild in concrete jungles haunted my dreams. According to the end credits, “a portion of the proceeds from this film will be donated to teen crisis organizations.” Good riddance.

See more of Gianna at www.giannalynn.com.

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Hey there all of you sexy guys and girls. In case you don’t know me, I’m Angelina Armani™, Digital Playground’s newest contract star and I’d like to welcome you to “The Armani Watch.”

If there’s one thing I love almost as much as sex, it’s sitting down and watching a really good movie. I try to get to the theater on a pretty regular basis, and when I’m not shooting scorching hot sex scenes, I’m at home thinking about sex while watching a DVD. I can watch just about any type of movie — action, comedy, animated, romance, drama, horror. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s good, entertaining and a temporary escape from reality.  But the reality is that not every movie out there is good. Just like sexual partners, sometimes you get a real lame one that loses your attention really quick. I know we’ve all had that problem in life, and wouldn’t it have been much better if someone, anyone, could have warned you in advance? Well that’s what I’m going to do here. I’m going to pass on my opinions about what to watch and what to avoid like a really bad lay! So sit down and check out “The Armani Watch”…

Quantum of Solace

I have to admit that I have never been a huge James Bond fan.  Actually, I pretty much know nothing about him except that he’s the world’s greatest spy, and the sexy Daniel Craig now plays him. This movie is the sequel to Casino Royale, which re-started the series with great acclaim.

Quantum picks up where the last one pretty much left off. In this one, Bond wants revenge against the bad guys who fucked over the girl he fell in love with in the previous movie. The girl ended up dying and 007 is not happy at all. The bad guys want word domination, which I can appreciate, but they must be stopped. Bond is a bad ass who goes outside his agency (the British Secret Service) to track down these fools and make these fuckers pay. Now that’s my kinda guy!

The movie has a lot of action and adventure, but if you are like me and did not see Casino Royale, you are going to have a hard time with some of the plot points (like me). I went back and watched the last one, so now I get a lot of it and want to see Quantum again, so do yourself a favor with a Casino Royale primer.

It’s not as good as Casino Royale, but it was still a pretty decent Bond film judging by the few I’ve seen over the years. In 007-speak, it’s not a Goldfinger or a From Russia with Love which are widely regarded as the best Bond films ever,  but it’s no Moonraker either (thought of as one of the worst by many). The action was plentiful, and overall it was a lot like Casino in the sense it was a much darker Bond than Roger Moore or Connery ever played. To me it felt like an in between kinda movie. What I mean is that it seemed more like a set-up for the next Bond installment. It was neither here or there.

Now onto another one of my favorite things — hot chicks. A lot has been said about the Bond Girls. I’d love to be one. They are sexy bitches that can handle shit and blow things up. I can get down with that. Sounds pretty close to my real life anyway, except without some crazy guy out for world domination. That’s my job.

Check out my first movie for Digital Playground, The Big Hit, to see what I mean. I play an assassin, and I know how to take care of all kinds of business. It’s hot as hell and I hope 007 approves. Make sure you pick it up in a few weeks and I’ll have all the dirty details right here first!

Armani Watch Rating: AAA

Be sure to pre-order The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak. Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Happy New Year & Wishes for a Great 2009 from Angelina Armani and everyone at Digital Playground!

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

© 2008 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

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I had been eagerly awaiting my trip to New Jersey for weeks. I was going to dance at “The Harem” and visit my good friend and Editor of GENESIS, Dan Davis. I was looking forward to seeing him, having a good time at the club, and hopefully play in the snow. However, my trip did not start out as great as I imagined.

Any ounce of good attitude disappeared immediately after my car started slowing down to a sluggish trudge along the crowded 405 freeway. This was the harbinger of the anxiety that I was to face later that day. I arrive at the sidewalk of my terminal just in time to discover that I wasn’t able to check my bags at the sidewalk. “That’s ok.” I reasoned with myself. “There is plenty of time before my flight.”

Then, after walking past the glass sliding doors, I stepped into what used to be the halls of LAX. It had transformed into a massive sea of men, women, children, luggage, pets, and irritable airport attendants meekly attempting to do their job. I am going to miss my flight. Between panic attacks and desperate failed attempts to cut in lines, I realize that this may not be a time when my boob job can help me, especially since the nearby attendants were grouchy women. I gave up and stood in that long, long ticketing line. Ugh.

After an hour and a half of counting my deep meditative breaths, I finally reach the front just to discover that my only option was to fly stand by in hopes that this “outrageous snowstorm” that has been delaying flights especially in Chicago would not affect my travels. Yayyy!

I grouchily walk to my gate and stand in line to talk to the attendant. I finally reach my turn and ask him how many people are ahead of me. Much to my very pleasant surprise, the attendant’s response put a huge smile on my face. He told me he did not know why they put me on standby and said he was going to give me the last seat on the plane. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

The rest of my weekend was smooth sailing. Dan showed me bits of New York as we drove through it from the airport on the way to Jersey. My first experience of New Jersey hospitality was at a diner. Their diners were so intimate. And they had these adorable coat hooks by each booth. Throughout dinner, I rambled on to Dan about random differences between LA and Jersey that I was fascinated about, like the cold weather. To me it was a nice change. And call me a dork, but I was so intrigued at the fact that people pump gas for you at the gas stations.

The next day, Dan took me to his office to finish some interviews. On the way, we drove by neighborhoods where kids were playing outside and throwing snowballs at each other. And the houses out in the Jersey suburbs had yards. Big yards that were covered in a white carpet of snow and that were decorated with mangers, trees, and beautiful lights. I look out the car window and saw white snowflakes descending from the sky. And then, all my anger at the world disappeared. I’m kidding. I’m not an angry person. But, to a California girl like me, it was like stepping into a winter-themed Thomas Kinkade painting. For a few days, I could escape to a mini-retreat away from a bustling city where people string Christmas lights on their palm trees.

The Harem Cabaret spoiled me rotten. This is by far my favorite club I have featured at. I had such a great time! They were some of the nicest, coolest people I have ever met. The owner, Tony, was amazing. He was cool enough to rearrange my show schedule because of the snowstorm. Everyone made me feel so comfortable. Especially, the manager Stephen, the GM Nicky D., and Suzie, the sexy VIP Hostess. I developed a little crush on her.

We all had a great time eating and laughing and just hanging out in the back dining area at the club. The food  there is so unbelievable! It was so delicious. It was like being in a five-star restaurant. I had lamb chops the first night and filet mignon the next night. I couldn’t stop eating because everything they fed me tasted yummy. They might as well have rolled me onstage. Sexy!

I thoroughly enjoyed performing my sets more than I normally do. It was such a fun environment to get naked to! My last outfit was a skimpy little Santa costume to which I danced to a version of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by Twisted Sister. As I stepped off the stage naked wearing only my Santa hat and tall black boots, the naughty girl inside me giggled at the fact that I just stripped to Santa music. Haha!

I wanted to go outside and make naked snow angels, but everyone started to lecture me on hypothermia and pneumonia so I decided against that idea and just flashed. The plows driving by definitely enjoyed it, and I want to thank Gabe for putting up with my dorkdom in the snow.

That completes my Jersey trip. I got to frolic in the snow, visit a good friend, and experience a white Jersey Christmas. Plus I learned a new Christmas song. It goes like this:

Who’s got a beard that’s long and white? Santa’s got a beard that’s long and white.
Who comes around on a special night? Santa comes around on a special night.
Special night, beard that’s white, Must be Santa, must be Santa,Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
Who wears boots and a suit of red? Santa wears boots and a suit of red.
Who wears a long cap on his head? Santa wears a long cap on his head.
Cap on head, suit that’s red, Special night, beard that’s white, Must be Santa must be Santa, Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
Who’s got a big red cherry nose? Santa’s got a big red cherry nose.
Who laughs this way: HO HO HO? Santa laughs this way: HO HO HO!
HO HO HO, cherry nose, Cap on head, suit that’s red, special night, beard that’s white, Must be Santa must be Santa, Must be Santa, Santa Claus.

Now I can go home and wear flip-flops in Los Angeles.

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This might be late, but I didn’t want a very special day to go by without this.

Oh Dan, my porno counterpart and member of the tribe, what would I do without you? I don’t know if you are turning 21 or 37 or like, 96 but whatever it is, you are cool in my book. It was recently my birthday as well. I turned 16. That is a big deal. I am going to get my learner’s permit and soon I can get tattooed. I heard it hurts, so I am not sure if I should really do it or not, but I think people with tattoos are pretty cool so I just might. I did not get any kind words from Dan on my Birthday, but yet he wanted me to say something about him on his birthday. In fact, he threatened me with much-needed press if I did not, and we all know how much I need the exposure. What an asshole.

You know what? I take back my warm and fuzzy first sentence. Go to hell. And Jews don’t even BELIEVE in hell so yeah….. I don’t even know where he will go, but where ever it is I hope it’s awful.

Oh wait, I just remembered that he did wish me a happy birthday, but it wasn’t all warm and fuzzy like this, so I’ll just say screw him back and Happy Birthday Dan.

Is that ok, Mr. Genesis Magazine Editor? I am kinda drunk.

XOXOXO
Joanna Angel

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12 Hours of XXXMas

If you are looking for something to watch and pass the time until that big red guy slides down your chimney, and since The Big Hit (my debut movie with Digital Playground) doesn’t come out until January 13th, here are a few of my recommendations for some holiday cheer. I figure that if you sit down around noon on Christmas Eve day, you can get through these six movies which are about 12 hours (or so) of some of my favorite holiday DVDs until the Santa cums to town.

Black Christmas (2006)
If you know me, you know that I’m a horror babe, and this is one movie I enjoy watching late at night with the lights off, half naked. Some sorority chicks are holed up for the holiday and get freaked out when an obscene caller phones in. Geez, like that’s a bad thing! I’ve been known to do a little heavy breathing of my own on my Sidekick! However, this creep starts killing off the girls, and gets a little too literal trying to get to a woman’s heart. Ewww… While this remake isn’t as good as the original 1974 version (it’s way convoluted), these chicks are a lot hotter and I found myself with my hand in the cookie jar, if you know what I mean. Bonus points for slight shower scene nudity.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
I fuckin’ love this movie. Part Halloween movie, part Christmas, and all fun. I have been watching this since I was a kid. It’s Tim Burton’s best movie. It’s a stop motion animated movie, kinda like those old Christmas specials that pop up on tv, except this one is about Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween, who discovers Christmas and takes it upon himself to deliver some Xmas cheer.  I could watch this movie a million times and still love it as much as the first time I saw it.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
FUCK YEAH! Santa Claus goes on a killing spree. He must work at the Beverly Center, because that mall is a fucking madhouse. Trying to shop there for my AVN clothes has almost driven me to murder, too! LOL! Anyway, this movie is a horror exploitation classic from the ’80s. There’s lots of blood, lots of gore, and everything a girl needs to get her through the night… well almost everything.  [perverted thoughts cross thru mind] Mmm-hmm [perverted thoughts]

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
With A Christmas Story, this is the funniest holiday movie out there, and probably the best Vacation movie. I know you’ve seen it, so I won’t go  too much into the plot except say that this one has the Griswold family getting the rest of their dysfunctional clan over to their house to celebrate Christmas. They’re all here, and Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) pretty much steals the show from Clark (Chevy Chase). Everyone can relate to someone in the Griswold clan, and while we might not have Great Aunts wrapping up their cats as presents, or Great Uncles having their hairpieces set on fire, this one definitely rings true on a lot of counts. I love this movie because as fucked up as they all are, they all love each other dearly and that’s kinda what matters the most, especially this holiday season. It’s about being with your loved ones. Awww!

A Christmas Story (1983)
I think this movie has replaced It’s A Wonderful Life as the go-to Christmas movie that people watch, and rightfully so. I think it’s hilarious, and it’s even funnier after downing a little Christmas cheer (I bypass the spiked egg nog and opt for some Vodka and Red Bull. That’s my cocktail of choice, so take note suckas!) It’s a recount of Ralphie’s childhood Christmas and how he spent it with his family. As simple as it is complex, it gets into the relationship and meaning of family, while being a fun heartwarming tale. This is a must see for sure. Bonus Points for me: Bob Clark, who directed this movie, also directed the original Black Christmas!

Die Hard (1988)
Shit blows up. How cool is that? After all of this movie watching, you need something to get you going again. I don’t want you falling asleep, especially if you are with me. There will be no sleeping — I need my stocking stuffed. Okay, so maybe this isn’t a “true” Christmas movie, but it takes place during a Christmas party, so it qualifies as far as I’m concerned! Bruce Willis is a NYC cop <3 trapped in an L.A. building that terrorists have taken over, and instead of bouncing he has to stay to save his somewhat estranged wife. Whatta guy!  Lots of action, a great movie and Hans Gruber (the bad guy played to perfection by Alan Rickman) can violate me with his candy cane if he so chooses.

Those are my six picks to watch this Xmas. I hope you and yours have a great holiday, and hopefully someone cums down my chimney.

Be sure to pre-order The Big Hit on DigitalPlayground.com or wherever you buy your adult movies. You can watch the Trailer HERE for a little sneak peak. Come on by and say, “Hi!” at my MySpace page, myspace.com/angelinaarmani.

Happy Holidays from Angelina Armani and everyone at Digital Playground!

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Photos courtesy of MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

© 2008 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

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Hey there all of you sexy guys and girls. In case you don’t know me, I’m Angelina Armani™. I am Digital Playground’s newest contract star and GenesisOnline’s newest blogging babe and I’d like to welcome you to “The Armani Watch.”

If there’s one thing I love almost as much as sex, it’s sitting down and watching a really good movie. I try to get to the theater on a pretty regular basis, and when I’m not shooting scorching hot sex scenes, I’m at home thinking about sex while watching a DVD. I can watch just about any type of movie — action, comedy, animated, romance, drama, horror. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s good, entertaining and a temporary escape from reality.  But the reality is that not every movie out there is good. Just like sexual partners, sometimes you get a real lame one that loses your attention really quick. I know we’ve all had that problem in life, and wouldn’t it have been much better if someone, anyone, could have warned you in advance? Well that’s what I’m going to do here. I’m going to pass on my opinions about what to watch and what to avoid like a really bad lay! So sit down and check out “The Armani Watch”…

MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA

Yes, you’re reading this right. I’m reviewing a cartoon! I loved Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa! It is one of my favorite movies of the year. I’m a sucker for anything with cute furry animals (even if they’re animated), and this one I got right into. I really liked the first one, so when I went to see this one I was really excited.

Alex the Lion (voiced by Ben Stiller) is leading the gang — Marty the Zebra (Chris Rock), Melman the Giraffe (David Schwimmer) and Gloria the Hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) — back from being stranded on Madagascar to their “home” at the Central Park Zoo in New York City. They start to leave the island, but then find themselves in their native stomping grounds of Africa. With his return, Alex reunites with his long lost parents, and the rest of the gang who were hating on each other find more of their own kind and split up.

Makunga (Alec Baldwin) is an evil lion that is trying to take over Alex’s dad’s spot as the lion king (so to speak). Throw downs and challenges happen before the group can come back together. BUT because there is no place like home, the animals choose not to venture back to the concrete jungle and stay in their native Africa.

The other superstars lending some vocals to this fun flick for all ages are Sacha Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, Will.I.Am and the late Bernie Mac. While there’s lots of stuff here for the little ones, there’s also a ton of adult (not our kind of adult) themed humor that will have you laughing out loud.

What’s crackalackin? This is! I loved it, loved it loved it. I recommend this movie to everyone, and when this comes to DVD I’m going to buy and put it on my iPod. LOL.

If they make a Madagascar 3 I wanna be in it as one of the animals. I can be a cheetah! Why? Because they are very sexy animals and like me, they are fast and always on the move, and when they want something, they get it! HA!

Armani Watch Rating: AAAAA

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Candid photos by Monstar – courtesy of MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

© 2008 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

No Comments Yet »

Hey there all of you sexy guys and girls. In case you don’t know me, I’m Angelina Armani™. I am Digital Playground’s newest contract star and GenesisOnline’s newest blogging babe and I’d like to welcome you to “The Armani Watch.”

If there’s one thing I love almost as much as sex, it’s sitting down and watching a really good movie. I try to get to the theater on a pretty regular basis, and when I’m not shooting scorching hot sex scenes, I’m at home thinking about sex while watching a DVD. I can watch just about any type of movie — action, comedy, animated, romance, drama, horror. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s good, entertaining and a temporary escape from reality.  But the reality is that not every movie out there is good. Just like sexual partners, sometimes you get a real lame one that loses your attention really quick. I know we’ve all had that problem in life, and wouldn’t it have been much better if someone, anyone, could have warned you in advance? Well that’s what I’m going to do here. I’m going to pass on my opinions about what to watch and what to avoid like a really bad lay! So sit down and check out “The Armani Watch”…

HULK SMASH!

There’s nothing better after a big holiday dinner with all the fixins than kicking back on the couch and popping in a DVD. My recommendation for your viewing that the whole family gathering can watch? Digital Playground’s Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge. Okay, so maybe Aunt Fran won’t appreciate watching Jesse Jane and Evan Stone fuck, but I guess it’s not really for everyone.

Okay, so here’s “Plan B.” Check out The Incredible Hulk! Recently released on DVD, this is one of this summer’s blockbusters. Starring Edward Norton as Bruce Banner, Hulk is an exciting story of superhero a not only fighting against himself and the U.S. Army, but an evil monster known as the Abomination (Tim Roth).

In this re-start of the franchise that Ang Lee almost ruined a few years ago, Banner is close to solving the curse that transforms him, but with the army on his tail a cat and mouse chase occurs. When an over enthusiastic solider’s (Roth) attempt to recreate the same accident that irradiated Banner goes awry, an evil monster is born who can possibly beat the hell out of our hero.

The action is hot and the CGI Hulk looks amazing. The movie itself is huge with lots of explosions, fighting, fun….everything you’d expect from a flick like this. All the actors deliver. William Hurt as General Ross comes across great as a man determined, yet obsessed. Liv Tyler doesn’t try to step outside her limited range which works well for her as the damsel in distress, and while Ed Norton rocks, of course, it’s Tim Roth who excels with his villainous ways and practically steals the show. While the 2003 Hulk was overly moody this one comes across as what people wanna see. Director Louis Leterrier does a smashing job (no pun intended).

Any good comic geek (like me) will be able to spot a lot of nods to not only the comic book but to the ’70s tv show as well. I’m not going to lie, upon my first viewing (and yes there were several) I had no idea about a lot of the references to the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferigno show since I wasn’t even born when it was on the ai, but after I was schooled a little from even geekier friends, I can appreciate the fact that they were put in.

I have the 3-disc DVD that was only available at Target in the exclusive packaging, because I’m cool like that, and the extras on the discs are pretty fucking cool. One of my favorites is the deleted scene, which is a harbinger of sorts to the forthcoming Avengers movie with Captain America’s “cameo”

My recommendation? Go out and rent or get this movie! If you don’t you will be making me angry, and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. (But you will like me when I’m horny!)

Armani Watch Rating: AAAA

Check out more of Angelina at her official website, AngelinaArmani.com. You can also check her out at MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani and at DigitalPlayground.com.

Hulk photos by Monstar – courtesy of MySpace.com/AngelinaArmani

© 2008 Genesis Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be reproduced in whole or part without written permission of the publisher.

Photos courtesy of DigitalPlayground.com

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